


A Ruin'd Love

by rubeanddodo



Category: Gone With the Wind - Margaret Mitchell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 02:56:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2676392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubeanddodo/pseuds/rubeanddodo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Begins after 'The Night'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_A little bird asked me to post this story here on AO3.  Thank you fanGWTW._

 

_Where did this come from? A niggle, a thought, an idea...maybe just madness. I don't know where it came from or where it will go. But it is with thanks to Isolabella for her encouragement and help._

**What potions have I drunk of Siren tears,**

**Distill'd from limbecks foul as hell within,**

**Applying fears to hopes, and hopes to fears,**

**Still losing when I saw myself to win!**

**What wretched errors hath my heart committed,**

**Whilst it hath thought itself so blessed never!**

**How have mine eyes out of their spheres been fitted,**

**In the distraction of this madding fever!**

**O benefit of ill! now I find true**

**That better is, by evil still made better;**

**And ruin'd love, when it is built anew,**

**Grows fairer than at first, more strong, far greater.**

**So I return rebuk'd to my content,**

**And gain by ill thrice more than I have spent.**

**William Shakespeare**

A Ruin'd Love

All Atlanta was in an uproar the days and weeks following Rhett Butler's departure, taking his precious daughter, Bonnie, with him. Gossip was buzzing like a hornet's nest. Whenever two or more ladies met their tongues immediately began to wag with the scandal that was uppermost in everyone's thoughts.

"No smoke without fire."

"It must be true, otherwise why would he leave taking his daughter too! It's not as if he would take a child on a business trip."

"That poor man. I never liked Scarlett, I always said she was a fast piece of goods."

"Do you remember during the war when she..."

If it had been up to Scarlett, she would have escaped from the wagging tongues and hidden back at Tara until the scandal had died down, but Melly would have none of it.

"No, my darling sister. You are going to stay here and hold your head high. You have nothing to hide from. They are nothing but nasty minded folks that have little better to do than repeat scandal and lies. We need not even bother with them nor give them a second thought."

Melly was like a mother bear protecting her cub. She seemed to spend her days glued to Scarlett's side. She went to the store every morning and sat quietly knitting as Scarlett went over the stock and tallied the books. Every afternoon, the two women would be seen making their way out to the mill run by Johnnie Gallagher. In the evenings, a young black boy would deliver the days receipts from the other mill for Scarlett to review.

Never were Ashley and Scarlett alone, partly through circumstance but also through desire, neither wanted to add more fuel to the firestorm. Both were drowning in the guilt and shame their simple act of friendship had caused to the woman they both loved.

Scarlett never stopped thinking, "It was all so innocent. Just two old friends remembering long ago days. If we had been caught that time during Ashley's furlough or that day at Tara in the orchard, then but this time when it was innocent..."

Ashley looked totally beaten. Bad enough that Melly was Scarlett's constant shadow but for Ashley to seemingly be hiding behind his wife's skirts disgusted Scarlett.

"He should speak up and tell the truth. Call out any man that spreads such lies and get his sister to shut her mouth."

Of course none of the mud was thrown at him. Scarlett was the evil temptress and he, being a simple man, was drawn to her like a fly to a spider's web. It was all her fault.

Every day Scarlett was forced to endure the cold snubs of the ladies and the bitter glares and whispers as they would bend their heads together to talk of the latest rumour involving Scarlett. Melly would force them to acknowledge her presence and out of respect for her, the ladies would bow their stiff necks, mumble their hellos and avoid eye contact with the Jezebel in their midst . Scarlett could sense their disdain towards her and their servile pity towards Melly. How Scarlett wanted to scream at them all, tell them to all go to Hell, force them to show her common courtesy, but she too, out of respect for Melly, kept her temper and murmured her polite responses.

One of the most difficult things for Scarlett to bear was the change in Mammy's demeanor. Mammy had always stood by Scarlett no matter what impropriety Scarlett had committed For all her fussing at being ladylike and doing what was fitting, Mammy had taken a certain pride in her young miss. Her babygirl was smart and pretty and strong. And though Scarlett may have bent the rules to their breaking point, Mammy had always remained loyal.

Now Mammy seemed to have withdrawn from Scarlett when she needed her support and comfort the most. Though she still tended to Scarlett it was with an icy coldness that hurt Scarlett more than all the viscous tongues of Rumour.

Scarlett was sweet as pie trying to be back in Mammy's good graces, asking about her rheumatism, complimenting her on her wonderful skills with the children, asking her advice on the staff but for all her trouble, Mammy kept herself aloof and unbending.

It was more than three weeks of the unrelenting coldness, when Mammy had come in with Scarlett's breakfast tray, "Good Morning, Mammy. How are you?" Scarlett sweetly said.

Ignoring the pleasantry, Mammy mutely set the tray on Scarlett's lap and walking over to the window, forcefully threw open the window drapes with a loud clatter of curtain rings. The dam of pent up feelings finally broke. Scarlett cried out "Please Mammy. Not you too. I can take it from anyone but you." The honest tears flowed down from Scarlett's eyes, her sobs were heartbreaking to the old woman.

Mammy's aged eyes looked sharp, for she knew how good an actress Scarlett could be when she wanted to get her way. There she was, crumpled up in an agony of pain which came from deep within her. Instinctively, Mammy went to her lamb. "Hush, baby girl, hush." she cooed.

Her large arms wrapped around Scarlett and held her tightly as Scarlett poured out all her sorrow. Her sobs shook the bed and her tears soaked Mammy's dress.

"I'm not that wicked. Really I'm not. I have tried so hard Mammy, I have. Oh, Mammy, do you think Mother is ashamed of me?" This thought causing another storm of tears as shame and guilt writhed in Scarlett's mind.

Softly Mammy started humming the old lullabye she had sung so many times before. The quiet tune soothed Scarlett and her crying slowly abated.

"Please believe me Mammy. I didn't do anything wrong that day at the mill. It was all a misunderstanding." Scarlett whispered as she lay cocooned in the loving arms of Mammy.

"Hush, now chile. I know. I know."

Scarlett's pride came back that morning. She still had Melly by her side each day but no longer was she cowering. Her chin was up and her spirit was fierce.

And her anger was white hot. Rhett should have been there, he should have stayed beside her or taken her with him. Admittedly, he knew of all the past with Ashley, but he should trusted his wife.

And then after that night, when for the first time they had well...Scarlett cheeks grew pink, well he should have known.

Her mind constantly thought of all the things she should have said the morning he returned to get Bonnie. If she had tried to speak to him and explain, to have made him listen to her. Would he have believed her?

She remembered over and over all the nasty things he had said to her. Was she really so cold-hearted, were her children really frightened of their own mother? She knew she wasn't the kind of mother Melly was but she did care for her children. Surely they must love her. Children always love their mothers.

Scarlett tried hard to be more nurturing and patient with Ella and Wade. She set aside an hour every day for them. She attempted to play dollies with Ella but she had no real interest in it, thinking she would scream if she had to drink one more cup of pretend tea or act as if Miss Susie, the large, ugly doll of Ella's, was actually making interesting conversation. Even as a girl, Scarlett didn't play dolly as she was always more interested in climbing trees and racing horses than pretending a china doll was a baby.

Wade had become so much like his father, his head was always buried in some book of adventure and daring deeds. He was not at all like the boys of her youth. Her playmates all hated books, thinking them sissified and they too had preferred a horse or a dog or making their own adventures rather than just reading about them. But Wade would talk for hours about someone called Ivanhoe and all his heroic travels.

But Scarlett held her impatience in check and kept trying. She slowly learned that a gentle pat or a kiss to a child or just a minute of listening to their dreams of the night before brought them closer to her. They still shied away from her, nervous of her anger and they were much more talkative to Melly, but it was a start.

Scarlett's first hint of pregnancy was losing her taste for her nightly brandy. As always, she had waited until the children and more importantly, Mammy were in bed, to pour herself her evening tipple when her stomach gave a sudden lurch at the smell. She held the glass to her lips but felt no desire for the warming liquor but rather a revulsion to the amber liquid came over her. She paused, then placing the stopper back on the lead crystal decanter, she turned and went up stairs to bed. She was pleasantly surprised that she slept so well that night without the help of the brandy.

Her second hint should have been how Scarlett lost her taste for the crowd of carpet baggers and trash she had entertained since moving into the house on Peachtree Street. She was no longer ' at home ' when Mamie Bart and the others called and she no longer spoke to them on the street. She would look right by them and seem not to hear their cackling cries of greeting. Scarlett began to see them for what they were, no longer fun and fascinating friends but rather cheap and low trash, no better than Emmy Slatterly.

Her appetite grew and her figure began to swell. She tired easily and certain foods which once had been her favourites, lost their appeal. At Melly's insistence, Scarlett made an appointment with Dr. Meade.

Though he was professional, Scarlett could sense his extreme dislike for her. After asking a few questions and gently palpitating her belly the doctor said curtly "You are with child, Scarlett. I'm surprised you didn't realize it yourself." He turned to pack his medical bag.

"But how..." Scarlett started to say before remembering that black night filled with fear and passion when Rhett had taken her like a wild animal and she had responded with as much ardour. Her face grew pink thinking of the things that she did, that Rhett had done and the words he had spoken.

"Surely you don't need me to explain that to you." Dr. Meade brusquely gruffed. "My guess is you are about two months along."

"Yes, that would be right." Scarlett thought. "April 15th to be exact."

Making her way home in the carriage, Scarlett stroked her belly, her emotions in a turmoil.

"A baby, another child! Oh sweet thing, don't worry you will be loved so much, by me and your daddy." Tears welled up in her eyes as she smiled at the feeling of love she felt for this child already. "Rhett, I must tell him. Are you a boy, little one? He will be so excited when he hears and then he'll come home." Her smile faded. "Or will he?" She thought of Rhett's insults and cruel words about her maternal nature. Maybe he wouldn't want another child by her. Maybe he wouldn't come home and then what? Should she write or would he just think it was her playing some trick, trying to get Bonnie back home? "No, I won't write, he will come home. He will, I know it. And then, when he finds out about the baby, well then, he'll stay and then...well, I'll think about that later. But, sweet baby, you are welcome. I love you, my baby."

A noticeable change gradually came over Scarlett. She became even more interested in spending time with Wade and Ella and spent less time on her businesses. Her brittleness began to crack and her softness began to show itself. Not that Scarlett was not still a hard taskmaster and didn't expect anything but the best from both her her staff and her children, but her mind was focused more on the life within and her home. She stroked her belly, imagining the baby sensing the love she felt for it. Not even with Bonnie had Scarlett felt so much joy in being pregnant. Babies had always come at the most inopportune times, and though this one hadn't been planned or even hoped for, it was her baby and Scarlett loved it dearly. She spent hours wondering if it was a girl or a boy and even tried the old wives trick of holding her wedding ring by a strand of her hair over the rapidly growing belly. When the ring started to swing back and forth, Scarlett laughed out loud with glee, knowing this child was a boy, a son for Rhett. She laughed and cried in equal measures when she felt the the baby quicken. Laughter and joy that this child was real, he was alive and strong. Her hot tears came when she wished for Rhett to place his large hand on her belly and feel the wonder within.

Scarlett veered from one emotion to another, within seconds she would go from being as happy as a new bride to the despair of a widow. Her dreams would take her back to that night, the one in which this child was conceived. She would feel Rhett's hands roaming roughshod over her body, taste his lips bruising hers, hear his hot mutterings in her ear as he claimed her as his own. She would cry out his name, craving him again. Then she would wake to the sterile bed, alone and lonely.

Other times, Scarlett's anger would roar. He had made her into something no better than his whore, Belle Watling. He had used her for her body and then tossed her aside. He had belittled her, insulted her and treated her with less respect than he showed his horse. Scarlett felt shame at how she responded to his touch that night. Yet she wanted it again. But she could never let anyone, least of all Rhett, ever know. Oh, what a grand that joke it would be and how Rhett would use it against her.

But Scarlett also wanted him home. She wanted him there to baby her and spoil her. She remembered how Rhett would massage her calves when they ached with carrying the weight of Bonnie, how he ensured she had all her favourite things around, fresh flowers to brighten her bedside, new perfumes from Paris, special chocolates. She missed him.

Melly had offered to write him, let him know about the baby, and Scarlett had almost agreed knowing he would believe Melly but her pride refused. No, he had to come home to her, not because she was with his child. Though why she wanted him still after all he had done to her she couldn't fathom.

The weeks dragged on with no word from Rhett. No one knew where he was or what he was doing. Scarlett had sent the children to Tara to escape from the uncomfortable August heat in Atlanta, when a letter arrived, addressed to Scarlett, written in Rhett's firm hand. Scarlett went to her small office to open it in private. She sat looking at the creamy white envelope, the ink so black, the stamps were British. What news would she learn, was Rhett demanding a divorce, would he ask her to come to him, was Bonnie well? Finally, with trembling hands, Scarlett slit open the envelope with her small silver letter opener.

Dear Momma;

How are you? I am fine. Daddy is writing this for me. I miss you. I don't like London. It smells. The bridge is not falling down. That story is wrong. I saw the Queen, she looks mean. My nurse is mean and she has a big wart on her chin! How are Wade and Ella? Please give Mr. Butler some sugar for me. Write me back, quick!

And then in uneven letters printed with a pencil were the words: Love Bonnie Butler

Scarlett smiled proudly at the crooked letters. She immediately took out her pen and notepaper and wrote a chatty news filled letter to her youngest child. She gave no hint of the baby as she knew that it would be Rhett that would have to read the letter to Bonnie. Sealing the envelope, she had it posted off that same day. Three weeks later it was returned, Not At This Address scrawled over it.

After she was no longer able to show herself in public, Scarlett was lonely. She had only Melly and Mammy for company. Melly was such a poor gossip, Scarlett knew nothing of the news but the talk was only of Scarlett and the child she was carrying.

The maelstrom of Rhett leaving Atlanta was nothing compared to the gossip when news of Scarlett's pregnancy came out. There was much speculation as to the father and the colour of the child's hair.

Blonde or black? Some of the lower men of the town were even placing bets.

India Wilkes, still angry at being shut off from Melly, added fuel to the fire when she said "For all we know, the baby will have red hair."

When Melly heard that, her disgust for her sister-in-law boiled over. No longer would she ever accept India into her home nor anyone who befriended her. The line was firmly drawn and Melly was willing to give up her standing in Atlanta for the love of her sister, Scarlett. People were conflicted. None really believed the wild tales that India was spinning, but then none could believe that Scarlett was totally innocent.

Ashley was now forced to visit his sister for an hour each Sunday at Aunt Pitty's home. India would sit, her thin lips pursed tightly and her pale eyes glaring with disappointment and anger at her brother, while Pitty fluttered away at how expensive things were and if only she could get a little bit more money things would be so much easier. For Ashley, each Sunday felt like a penance for his sins.

It was early on a cold, drizzling November morning when Scarlett finally heard the sound that she had been missing.

"Mama, Mama!"

"It's Bonnie, my baby is home. Bonnie!" Scarlett ran from her room, her heavy embroidered dressing robe swirling round her. Half way down the stairs she met her precious little one, who came stomping up the stairs on her sturdy little legs. Bonnie, her black ringlets all in a tangle, her travel suit stained with chocolate but with her blue eyes bright and big and her cheeks pink from the cold. She threw her chubby arms around Scarlett's neck in a strong grip. "Mama, I missed you so much! You smell so pretty, Mama. And you are pretty. Mama, I want my pony, did Mr. Butler miss me? I missed him most awfully."

"I know he missed you sweetie, almost as much as I did. Bonnie, you have grown so much. Let me look at you. Can I have a kiss, baby."

"I'm not a baby. I'm a big girl now." Bonnie pouted. But she gave a quick hard kiss to Scarlett's cheek almost bruising it, before wriggling out of her grasp. "Let me go Mama. I want to see Mr. Butler now." Scarlett gave one more squeeze to her pretty little girl and then watched as Bonnie tromped her way down the stairs and made her way out back to the stables.

Scarlett gaze moved to the front door. She took a quick intake of breath seeing Rhett standing there, large as life. He was so handsome, almost as handsome as the Devil himself. Why had she never noticed it before? She felt a quiver of nervousness, like a dog, not sure if it's master would stroke it's ears or kick it to the side.

"Rhett." she smiled timidly. "Welcome home."

"Mrs. Butler." he mockingly swept off his hat and bowed to her like an English fop.

For Rhett, seeing his wife again after so many months away was struck by her beauty. There was a softness on her cheeks where before there had been hollows under her cheekbones. Her hair was thick and glossy hanging loose over her shoulders. Her eyes, though wary, were sparkling. He had seen her look like this once before but he could not remember when. "Maybe that damned barbeque." he thought.

"Where is your luggage, is it still at the station, shall I send Pork to get it?" Scarlett politely asked.

"I'm not staying." Rhett said shortly. " I'm just returning Bonnie and then I shall be on my way. It seems a child will miss even a bad mother. Or maybe it was just her pony that she missed."

He smirked as he saw the pain his barb had caused Scarlett. Her smile faltered and her eyes slanted with hurt.

Scarlett quickly rose from her seat on the stairs, her robes no longer concealing her heavy belly. "Fine. You have made your delivery. Good day."

"Why Scarlett, do I perceive you are with child?" Rhett face was impassive but his eyes were alert.

Scarlett place her hands protectively over her stomach. "My, what sharp eyes you have, Mr. Wolf." she sneered. "A blind man could see that."

Rhett made his way up the stairs until he was two steps down from her and their eyes were level. Scarlett's heart was beating hard hoping that he would take her in his arms and kiss her Tell her how happy he was, anything

"And is the expectant father happy?"

Scarlett gasped. She knew how hateful Rhett could be, how cruel with his words, but to insinuate that she had...

All these months, the days the weeks of waiting for him to come, the fantasies of him taking her into his arms, of him saying how happy he was about the baby, of him pampering her and protecting her as he had when she was pregnant with Bonnie, all to be destroyed with such an insult .

Her eyes burned with hate and pain. "I wouldn't know. I haven't bothered to ask."

"Touche, my dear." Rhett's eyes slitted. " And when is the blessed event expected?"

"Let me see, when was it you abandoned me again?"

Rhett smirked at her. "You do play the part of the forsaken wife quite well, Scarlett. My compliments to your dramatic talent."

Scarlett wanted to slap his smug mouth, rake her nails down his cheeks, push him backwards down the stair. Breathing deeply she glowered at the mocking face before her as she tightly clenched her hands and the blood pounded in her head. The baby gave a sharp kick and her thoughts immediately went to it. She breathed in deeply, focusing herself back to the child. With a calm unusual for her, she gathered up her robe and turning, she walked carefully up the stairs. She closed her bedroom door softly behind her, blocking out the thought and sight of her husband.

Rhett stood still, surprised at Scarlett. Their fights didn't usually end so quietly. Usually there were doors slamming or china being smashed. But Scarlett had held herself like a queen.

Rhett knew the child was his and he felt shame. Shame that he had so brutally taken Scarlett, shame that he was too cowardly to face her afterwards and shame that he had hidden from her for the last eight months. And he would have stayed away longer if it hadn't been for the pestering of Bonnie and her tears and cries for her mother. Though he didn't like to admit it, he had missed Scarlett also. Just as during the days of the War, when he would leave vowing never to return, the ache of missing her had always brought him back.

Slowly, he turned and went down the stairs and out the door. He needed a drink, even if it was only nine in the morning. He felt sure Belle would be pleased to see him again and she would catch him up on all the news of the town.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

_With Many Thanks to the Red Pen Wonder, Bluesneak._

 

Chapter 2

Rhett slowly made his way down the stairs, mulling over Scarlett's behaviour. It was unlike her not to at least try and cross swords with him. He smirked - not that she was ever the victor. He always found it so easy to prick at her, leaving her lost for words and stamping her foot in frustration. It amused him to bait her knowing her temper would always get the best of her; it had become sport for him. It was he that always had the upper hand. He speculated if Scarlett had won this last battle simply by refusing to engage - or maybe he was out of practice and his barbs weren't sharp enough. It had been a number of months since he had last seen her.

He passed through the shadowy dining room, nodding to Prissy who was slowly clearing the breakfast dishes. Upon his entry, Prissy immediately fumbled with the plates, causing the silver flatware to clatter on to the polished wood table. She stood, open-mouthed, staring dumbly at him. On he went through the swinging door to the kitchen, wondering again why Scarlett kept on such an inept maid. He had once asked her why she kept Prissy when she could have hired the best help in Atlanta. Scarlett had scowled at him and changed the subject. What she hadn't told him, what would have surprised Rhett, was her sense of obligation and duty to care for and employ those servants who had stayed with her at Tara. They were part of her family and her responsibility.

Entering the modern kitchen, Rhett took in it's surfaces, clean and sparkling, the light bright from the large window over the enameled sink and the aromas of home cooking in the air. He liked this room. Maybe it was the brightness, unlike the gloom of the rest of the mausoleum or maybe it brought back pleasant memories of the kitchen in his childhood home. It had stood separate from the rest of the house and he remembered how the servants would run down the brick path with hot dishes to serve the family in the dining room. It would be hot as Hades in the summer and warm in the cooler months. It had been the one place in that house where he felt safe and loved. His father never deigned to enter any of the working rooms of the Great house; it was much too beneath such a man.

The household staff, seated at the long scrubbed table were finishing their own breakfast. Pork, Sarah the cook, and Isa, a maid, sprang to their feet and nodded at Rhett. Only Mammy kept her seat. She glared at Rhett before turning her stare back to the empty coffee cup sitting before her.

"Mornin' Capt'n Butlah, welcome home." Pork said, almost standing at attention.

"Thank you. How are you, Pork?" "No complain's suh."

"Are yous hungry Capt'n Butlah, shud I make you supthin?" Sarah asked, her yellowish face pock marked and broad planed.

"No, thank you, Sarah. Though I'm sure Miss Bonnie would like some of your biscuits. She talked nonstop about them the whole time we were in England."

Sarah grinned, "One jump head ya, suh. They be just finishin' cookin'."

Rhett turned his eyes towards Mammy. "And Mammy, how wonderful to see you again. How are things with you?" Mammy grunted her reply, keeping her eyes down, her large lower lip jutting out.

Rhett continued on, as if he didn't notice Mammy's rudeness. "Really. That is a shame. Are you unwell? Maybe you need a little holiday. Shall I arrange for you to go back to Tara for a rest?" his tone was menacing and icy cold, the threat of Mammy being dismissed was unmistakable to everyone in the kitchen.

Mammy's dark brown eyes flew up to meet Rhett's black ones. "My place is here with my lamb and here's I'll stay. Unlike sum others." she muttered.

The other servants held their breaths, watching the battle of wills, as the old woman and the powerful man sparred.

Rhett broke first. Bowing his head in honour, he said, "Of course Mammy. Your place is with Scarlett and no one would ever doubt that. Thank you for everything you do for her. I'm sure she would be lost without you, as would we all." Mammy's eyes sparked with hate at Rhett, before she looked down at her cup.

Sarah went to the large oven and pulled open the heavy door. "Biscuits done, Capt'n." she said, pulling out two large trays of golden biscuits.

"Thank you Sarah. I'll send Bonnie in. Good day to you all." Rhett walked out the dutch-door and strode down the gravel path to the stables. Two women angry at him and it not yet noon. What more would this day bring? The day was still cool though the sun was trying to break through the thin greyness. Everything seemed damp and the lawns were heavy with dew.

Rhett silently entered the brick stables. His eyes softened as they gazed on his little precious, her tiny hand stroking Mr. Butler's soft muzzle as she chattered away to him about her trip to Charleston and London.

Old Tom, his stable man, stood by and handed sugar cubes to Bonnie to feed the fat pony. Tom was a small man, no more than five foot four. He must have been at least sixty but still as strong and lithe as a young man. His head was as bald as a billiard ball and his brown face practically unlined except for the laugh lines and small grooves by his mouth. A nicker came from the far end of the stable and hard hoof banged the stall door. Old Tom glanced up at the sound and saw Rhett standing by the wide barn door.

"Capt'n. Glad you're home. So's Chief by the sounds of it."

"Hello Tom."

"Daddy, Daddy, Mr. Butler told me he was broken hearted he missed me so and I promised I would never, ever leave him again. Poor Mr. Butler. Daddy, I want to ride now. Tell Tom to put Mr. Butler's saddle on. Now, Daddy."

"But precious, Sarah has just taken two trays of biscuits out of the oven. She made them just for you and I'm pretty sure there's a large jar of jam to go with them."

Bonnie pouted her lips and wrinkled her forehead, so like her mother. Which whim did she want satisfied first? "Is it strawberry jam?" "It's whatever jam you want, darling girl." "I want strawberry. Can I ride Mr. Butler after my biscuits?"

"Of course, he'll be all tacked up, waiting for you. Now give your best beau a kiss." Bonnie pursed up her sweet mouth and gave Rhett a fast kiss on his chiseled cheek before she skipped off towards her biscuits and strawberry jam.

Rhett stood watching the long tangled ringlets bounce and grinned with pride over his beautiful girl. A loud bang hit the stall door again. "Coming my boy." Rhett walked towards the last stall. Old Tom followed behind.

"He's been missing you, Capt'n."

"You've exercised him while I've been away, Tom?"

"Course, suh. It's you he wants. He needs your hand is all."

Rhett went up to the half door of the stall. The large black stallion was tossing his head, half rearing in his box. "Hello, old boy. You missed me, did you?" Rhett put his hand out. The big horse gave a nicker and nibbled at Rhett's gloved hand then two-stepped away. His large brown eyes stared down at Rhett. "Let's go for a ride. Would you like that?" Rhett smiled. "Tom, saddle him up: I'll do his bridle."

Rhett kept the horse under a strict hold as they made their way down the congested streets of Atlanta. Chief wanted to dance about but Rhett kept a firm grip with his legs and a light touch with his hands to control the horse. "Soon boy, soon you'll run." He wondered why a horse was so much easier to master than a wife.

"Captain Butler, Captain Butler!" Rhett heard a melodious voice calling and he pulled up on Chief, scanning over the crowded sidewalk. Rhett saw the small figure of Mrs. Wilkes waving at him from the side of the street. He doffed his hat as he made his way closer to her.

"Mrs. Wilkes, how lovely to see you. You are well? And your family?"

Melly's brown eyes softly beamed up at him. "All well, thank you. Captain Butler. You're home again! I'm so glad. When did you get back? Scarlett didn't tell me."

"Just this morning, but I won't be staying long."

"But Captain Butler, have you not seen Scarlett yet?"

"Yes, ma'am. I did when I returned Bonnie."

"But in that case, you know about..how can you leave when..." Melly stopped. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me."

Rhett smiled down at the tiny figure. She looked so innocent. "You could never be rude, Mrs. Wilkes."

Melly wrinkled her brow and paused in thought. "Captain Butler, I feel we must talk. Not here in the street." she said slowly. She stood still for a moment and then said, " I must go to my meeting for the Widows and Orphans of Our Confederate Dead now and I don't want to be late." Her doe-like eyes gazed up at Rhett. "Would you come to my home for coffee this afternoon, say at about two?"

"I would be honoured, ma'am."

"I'll see you then." Melly paused again and then with a nod of her head as though debating something in her mind said " Thank you Captain Butler."

Chief, tired of being held in check, tried to rear again. Rhett realized that the horse's patience was nearing its end. "Thank you, Mrs. Wilkes. I'll see you at two." Rhett raised his hat politely and watched as Melly made her way down the walkway and was soon lost in the crowd.

Rhett steered Chief to the side streets where there was less traffic and made his way south out of Atlanta. The storefronts gave way to the small houses interspersed with empty weedy lots and then finally to the battle scarred land on the outskirts of Atlanta. Even after this many years, Rhett could see the deep furrows left by the wheels of heavy cannons and the dirt from the breastworks had eroded down but were still obvious. How much blood had been spilled on this earth? Grass now softened the churned up gashes of red dirt and the surrounding forests stood as quiet sentinels over the horror that had passed this way, the trunks of tall trees still bearing wounds from the bullets and shells that had brought the surrender of Atlanta. This is where Rhett had first kissed Scarlett and then after telling her he loved her, he had left her alone on this road, while he went on a fool's errand of fighting for the Southland.

Flashes of red and orange forced their way before Rhett's eyes, thoughts of horses screaming, of guns booming deafeningly, men and boys wounded and dying calling for their mothers or shocked into a silence as their spirits slipped away, mud and blood thick under bare bleeding feet as the desperate marches continued through desolated countryside and devastated towns. On empty stomachs that cried for something, anything, they tramped, ready to meet the enemy and protect their homeland. Men fighting and dying, knowing their cause was lost and had been for a long time.

Rhett dug his heels in the sides of Chief, causing the horse to leap forward into a full gallop. He rode the horse hard, trying to clear his mind of the horrors.

The vision of Scarlett, pregnant again, came forward. No wonder he had noticed her beauty. It wasn't the memory of his first sight of Scarlett at Twelve Oaks, it had been her look when she was pregnant with Ella and especially Bonnie. Pregnancy suited her. Her figure grew more lush, her hair shone and was full, her cheeks were no longer hollow and her eyes gleamed as if they knew a secret. That would be the last thing Scarlett would want to hear. She hated what babies did to her figure, hated having to hide away lest anyone see she was with child and she hated being a mother. Yet he found Scarlett so sensuous when she was with child and he would have liked nothing more than to curl beside her in bed, stroke her rounded belly, touch her heavy breasts, breathe in her sweet scent and feel her softness.

Damn that woman, she was as fertile as the Nile's Delta! He would have to remember that for the future. Or maybe he didn't have to worry, as he highly doubted Scarlett would ever allow him anywhere near her bed again.

His mind went back to the night this child was conceived. He had forced himself on her. While he could console himself with the thought that it was his right and hundreds of other men had done the same thing with their own wives, Rhett felt ashamed. He had always prided himself that he had never had to make a woman bed with him. They had always fallen like overripe peaches for his charms or his money and most had seemed satisfied with the end result. Yet, with Scarlett it was different. He knew she endured the "men's foolishness' during their honeymoon as something a wife had to do, a chore, a duty but never a pleasure. No matter how much champagne she had drunk or how many presents he had bought, Rhett had failed at lighting that spark within her. Not with the phantom specter of Ashley Wilkes haunting their intimacy, he thought bitterly.

For the past eight months he had tried to recall what had happened after he had carried her up the stairs. He remembered how he had wanted to hurt her, to make her feel the pain she had unknowingly inflicted on him. He knew he had wanted to block all the foolish dreams of Ashley from her mind. He wanted her to see him, feel him and know how much he was her husband. He had blurred visions of Scarlett reaching for him, crying out for him, reacting to him but he had been so fogged with whiskey he wasn't sure if it had happened or if it was just the old fantasy he was remembering. When dawn had come and he had woken with her curled beside him, her body naked and bruised, he had run. He had been terrified of what had happened, at what he may have said. He had tried to drink away his shame and when that hadn't worked, he had decided to leave Atlanta, to leave her. When he had finally gathered the courage to face her, to tell her he was leaving, she spoke of his disgusting behaviour. He was disgusted himself and yet he had tried to make light of it all, as though it had no bearing.

He wondered again about the shy smile on her face after he had been away almost nine months. She seemed almost happy for him to be home. The silly fool. She should have written him, sent a letter to his mother, told him of the baby. Why did she always have to fight him? He had planned on delivering Bonnie back to Scarlett and then going on to New Orleans after a short stop in Charleston. Now he wasn't sure. His place was probably here with Scarlett, at least until the child was born, but he had no stomach for it. Living the lie with Scarlett was difficult at the best of times.

A rabbit darted out in front of Chief's thundering hooves causing the stallion to rear up, almost unseating Rhett. Rhett's instincts came forth and holding tight with his thighs, he kept his seat. The horse tried to buck but with calming words and an authoritative hold on the reins, Rhett was able to curb the horse. They stood for a minute, both breathing hard.

" Christ, I'm almost halfway to Jonesboro." Rhett patted Chief on his sweating neck. " All right boy, that's enough, that's enough." Looking over the small rolling landscape, Rhett forced himself back to the present and away from his black thoughts and dark memories. The wind blew raw against his face and the horse's long mane rippled. With a deep sigh, Rhett murmured "Let's turn around, Chief" and started him into a trot and then a gentle canter back towards town.

Rhett tied the reins to the iron ring by the horse trough and loosened the girth. "You are the finest boy around." Giving a pat on the horse's long neck he felt his muscles ache. It had been a long while since he had last ridden a horse. His stomach rumbled - he was hungry - but the good thing about sporting houses, the better ones had breakfast available at any hour and Belle's was one of the best. Rhett took the back stairs two at a time. No longer did he tie his horse to the street entrance - not since Bonnie. He was sure half the town knew he frequently visited the Prancing Horse, but at least he no longer advertised it.

"You are the stupidest gal ever! And I suppose ya think he'll marry ya too." the flat speech of Belle bawled loudly.

Rhett tapped on the door and stepped into the cramped kitchen. Belle, her face broader and her figure more overblown than the last time he had visited, stood over a pretty mulatto girl, seated at the table.

She glanced up and gave a whoop of delight. "Well, well. If it ain't the prodigal son come back home. How are you, honey? Give us a kiss." Belle grinned widely at Rhett.

Rhett pulled Belle towards him and gave her a hard kiss on her painted mouth. "Missed me?" he asked, with a light smack on her generous bottom.

"You bet, darlin', sit down, sit down. What can I get ya - whiskey, food, a gal?"

"Steak and eggs would go down fine right now. And a bottle wouldn't go amiss either." Belle nodded over at Maude, her cook, who pulled the frying pan on to the hot stove and set to work at Rhett's breakfast. Belle left the room and came back holding a bottle and two heavy glasses. Pouring out the liquor, she passed one glass over to him and lifted her own.

"Welcome home sugar."

"Thanks, Belle. How are things?"

"Same old, same old. Where did that slut go?"

"The pretty thing you were whaling at? She took off when you went to get the bottle."

"Why are the best always the dumbest? Flora, one of my top money makers, she's gotten herself knocked up and reckons on keeping it. Dumb. But she's in love with a fancy man who has been trying to take her as his own piece of candy. He has sweet talked her and charmed her to think she's his own true love. She's in for nothin' but heartache." Belle gulped down her whiskey and poured herself another. " He'll make her get rid of the baby and if she survives that, he'll set her to work paying off his gamblin' debts. Poor little fool." Belle looked into her glass and almost became lost in her old thoughts. With a shrug she threw them off and looked jauntily back at Rhett's black eyes, "So, you're back. Well, sir, that is fine. How ya doin'? I hears tell there is another Butler baby on its way."

Rhett looked across the table at her. Her powder had caked, accenting the lines on her face. The black on her lashes was globbed and smeared and last night's rouge was vivid on her cheeks. Her too-red dyed hair was even more startling in the daylight but her hazel eyes were kind.

"So it would seem." Rhett said nonchalantly.

Maude placed a plate with a large t-bone steak and three eggs in front of him. She gave him a loaf of bread and a jar of apple butter to complete his meal. Rhett cut into the tender meat and chewed.

"It's yours?" Belle asked.

Rhett's eyes went hard and he glared at her. "Taking our friendship for granted aren't you Belle? Watch how far you go."

"Don't get prickly. It's a fair question and one that is being asked by most in this town."

Rhett smeared some of the butter on a thick slice of bread. "What else is the fine populace of Atlanta saying?"

"They're speculatin' on why ya left, taking your baby with ya. How is she, Miss Bonnie Blue, still got you tightly wrapped 'round her little finger?" Belle paused, waiting for his response but Rhett just kept eating.

"Ol' Man Merriwether and Henry Hamilton come by once a week for a whiskey and a game of chess." Belle gave a raucous laugh. " I think they do it just to annoy their womenfolk and to act like they're still young." Rhett continued to concentrate on his breakfast. "From what they tell, if it weren't for Missus Wilkes the better folks of Atlanta would have tarred and feathered your wife." Rhett glanced at her briefly.

"I never liked her, can't say I ever understood the 'traction you have for her but she has had it rough since you been gone."

Still Rhett gave no response back to Belle, whothen continued. " She got rid of that crowd she was so chummy with and has kept to herself. Only Missus Wilkes has been visitin'. I feel almost sorry for her. You didn't make it any easier by hightailin' out of here."

Belle poured out more whiskey for the two of them. "And now she's got a baby on the way. People are wonderin' bout that."

"It's mine," Rhett said harshly "Satisfied?"

Belle shrugged her shoulders. "Makes no never mind to me." She swirled the whiskey in her glass.

"You should have shot that bastard, Archie. He was evil and mean. Even if what he was sayin' was true, you should have shot him."

"It wasn't true. I knew that at the time."

"So why did you let everyone think you were being cuck..cuck..damn, what's that word?"

"Cuckolded." Rhett said roughly.

"Yeah, that's it. You leavin' made it seem more likely than not and then the baby comin' when most of this town knows you don't have relations with your wife."

"I didn't realize my marriage was the cause of such discussion." Rhett said coolly.

Belle threw back her head and cackled. "You and that woman have been the talk of the town since the War."

" 'That woman' is my wife, Belle."

Belle leaned back in her chair and looked Rhett square in the eye. "You're a cold bastard, Rhett. Especially to the people that love ya most."

Rhett pulled out his heavy gold watch and checked the time. Rising up, he said, "Thanks for the breakfast, Belle. I must be on my way."

"Not interested in a gal?"

"Not today. What will happen to Flora?"

"Ah, hell. I'll probably try to make her see sense and when that don't work..." Belle shrugged her broad shoulders. "I'll give her a place again if she ain't too beat up."

Rhett smirked. "The milk of human kindness flows in your veins, Belle." Rhett went over to Maude and pushed a two dollar coin into her hand. "Thanks, Maude. There isn't anyone who can cook a steak as well as you." Maude grinned, showing her three remaining teeth.

Belle followed him outside and watched from the porch as he tightened the girth around Chief and untied the reins. Rhett swung up in the saddle and tipped his hat to her.

"Glad yer back, Rhett. Don't be a stranger." Belle called out.

"Not sure how long I'm staying, but I'll come by before I leave. Good to see you again." Giving Belle a grin, he clucked to the horse and made his way over the railway lines and towards Ivy Street.

He thought over what Belle had told him. So Scarlett was still under Miss Melly's wing. Must make things comfortable for Mr. Wilkes, Rhett sneered. His mind then went to the young whore, Flora. He knew what Belle had meant when she said how the fancy man would make her get rid of the baby. It made him wonder why Scarlett hadn't taken that route with the baby she was carrying. She had wanted to with Bonnie and it was only his insistence that his darling baby girl had been born. He remembered the horror he had felt when Scarlett had spoken of women not having to have babies if they didn't want them, his blind fear that she may have already been to some back street slattern had shaken him. The following day he had paid a visit to the former whore, Mamie Bart and had told her clearly that either he would kill her himself or ensure she was charged with murder and enjoy watching her hang if she dared touched Scarlett. Rhett still remembered the anger and fear that Scarlett would some how slip away from him and go through with her threat.

So what made this baby different? Why had she not tried to rid herself of this child? Her religious guilt and fear of eternal damnation probably. It had always made him laugh that Scarlett could jettison so many of the Churches teachings when it served her purpose but she still had such a fear of hell.

Rounding the corner to Ivy Street, Rhett dismounted and tied Chief to the cast iron boy in front of the squat brick house of the Wilkes. Walking through the low gate he admired the tidy flower beds, now lying dormant, and the swing hanging from one of the ancient oak trees. He noticed the lace curtain in the front window twitch and by the time he had walked up the long stair to the porch, the front door, painted a cheerful yellow, was swinging open. Melanie, standing no taller than his chest, gave him a warm smile as she welcomed him into her home. She took his coat and hat and hung them on the walnut hall stand.

"Please come into the parlour. Make yourself comfortable while I get the coffee."

Rhett glanced around the small room. It was simply decorated; rag rugs were scattered over wood floors that gleamed from frequent polishing, the chairs, plain were cushioned with homemade pillows. Pride of place went to the bookshelves against the far wall. Rhett scanned over the titles, noticing the Complete Works of William Shakespeare that Scarlett had bought during their honeymoon. He picked out a book and was scanning over "The Best of Husbands" by James Payn when Melly returned carrying a tray.

Melly trembled slightly. Captain Butler was such a large man, he seemed to dwarf the room around him. Why had she invited him here? She had spent the time since meeting him worrying over what words of advice she could give him. What made her think she could speak to him of such a private matter? He was not a little boy that would obediently listen to his elder. She had a slight fear of him but she knew he looked kindly towards her and maybe she could help.

"Please sit down, Captain Butler. Would you like milk and sugar?"

Rhett sat opposite Melly at the round table in the centre of the room and said "Just black, thank you."

"May I tempt you with some seed cake?" "No thank you, ma'am, I've just eaten."

Melly chattered away, asking Rhett about Bonnie, how his mother and sister were, the sights of London, the weather. She paused, obviously trying to think of something else to say when Rhett spoke. "Mrs. Wilkes, I got the impression you wanted to speak to me about something. May I help you at all? Do you need anything? "

"Me, Captain? No, I am in no need of anything. I am a very lucky woman. I have everything a woman could wish, I have been blessed in my life. It's you." Melly tightened her fingers around the delicate china coffee cup. Now she had to speak.

Rhett's dark eyes widened in surprise. "Me, Mrs. Wilkes. What do I need?"

" When we met this morning you spoke as if you weren't planning on staying long in Atlanta." She paused, trying to find the words. "I don't want you to think I'm interfering or being a busybody, Captain Butler. Oh this is difficult."

"Speak plainly, Mrs. Wilkes. I promise not to take affront." Melly gazed solemnly at Rhett, as if weighing what his reaction would be.

"Very well." Melly took a deep breath and gave a little prayer. " Since you have been gone, Captain, people haven't been kind to Scarlett. Many nasty things have been said about her, innuendo relating to Ashley. None of it is true. " She looked into Rhett's dark eyes." You know that, don't you?"

"How Rumour's many tongues All boded evil- woe" Rhett softly quoted.

"Precisely. People have been spiteful and malicious. They are jealous of Scarlett and prefer to think the worst. I think they want to build themselves up by cutting her down. It has been most unfair to her and Scarlett has had a very distressing time." Melly heart went out to her dear sister.

"Some of the talk has died down since her confinement, but I fear if you leave again, so quickly and before the baby comes, it will inflame the gossip again."

Rhett paused before carefully saying, "I see your point, Mrs. Wilkes. Though to be honest, I'm not so sure Scarlett wants me here."

"You must be joking. Of course she does! Scarlett has missed you and Bonnie dreadfully."

"Bonnie, possibly." Rhett looked away from Melly's searching eyes.

"Bonnie and you." Melly said firmly. "Surely you didn't believe all those nasty tales that India was spreading. You must know how much Scarlett loves you! Why else would she have married you?"

Rhett gave a slight smirk. "I caught her at a weak moment."

Melly's eyes flared at Rhett's mocking face. "Captain Butler, don't take me for a fool! I know why Scarlett married dear Charlie. She was so young and caught up in the fever of the War, she thought she was in love but it was puppy love, I know that. And as for Mr. Kennedy, well, she cared for him. She may not have been in love with him but she did what she felt she had to, as many other women have done before." Melanie had to make him see the truth. She had to break through his hard exterior. Softly she spoke " But you, Captain Butler, she didn't have to marry you. The only reason could be for love."

Rhett looked over at the gentlewoman. She was so innocent. She would never see the bad in anyone. She couldn't fathom that he had married Scarlett because he couldn't have her any other way and that Scarlett had married him for...

"I promised her fun." Rhett said softly.

"And have you given her that, along with your love?" Rhett didn't answer. "She loves you. Maybe she hasn't told you how deeply, maybe she doesn't even realize herself. That is why I will never believe those stories. I trust my husband, I know he would never betray me. He loves me just as Scarlett loves you. That is why she is so happy to be having another baby. It is proof of the love you share."

Rhett looked at Melly's eyes shining earnestly at him. "Scarlett happy to be having a baby? No, Mrs. Wilkes, you are wrong."

"Captain Butler, I am sorry to be blunt but I have been by her side for the last number of months - you have not." Rhett's face was blank but his eyes hardened. "Please don't be angry with me, Captain. I don't mean to be so harsh but I think it's important for you to know."

"Why didn't she write me, why didn't she tell me about the baby, I would have come home immediately."

"She did write. Well, she tried. She wrote Bonnie a letter but it was returned, 'Not At This Address". She didn't know how to contact you. All she could do was hope and pray you would come back before the child was born."

Rhett remembered that letter. Bonnie had started to miss Scarlett terribly. She had curled up on her little bed and cried so pitifully. She had refused all offers of new toys or trips to the zoo and finally to stop the tears and cries to go home, Rhett had suggested writing a letter. Bonnie had brightened immediately and had been very precise with what she wanted Rhett to write down for her. She had laboured at printing her name on the letter and had been so proud of the final product. They had posted it together and Bonnie had kissed the envelope to make it go faster. Bonnie had expected a return letter every day for a week, but Rhett was relieved that she seemingly had forgotten about it after they had gone on to Newmarket, to see some horses that he had been interested in purchasing.

Rhett thought of the welcome Scarlett had given him this morning, the shy smile. Maybe what Miss Melly was saying was true. A small sense of hope began to grow within him. Could it be true, did Scarlett finally realize...But no, Miss Melly was such a good woman she could never believe anyone she loved wasn't the same. She didn't know Scarlett's true nature, not like he did. And yet, was it possible? Miss Melly was not a fool. She may not look for evil in others she was not blind to it. She had spent the last months with Scarlett and perhaps Scarlett had told her something.

When he had seen Scarlett this morning he had been ready for battle, sure that she would have been set to berate him for all his shortcomings as a husband. Instead, she had met him with a smile and a welcome and he, in turn, had insulted her. Had he snuffed out the small flicker of love she may have felt for him? Was it too late?

"Mrs. Wilkes, you are a good friend to Scarlett and to me. I thank you."

"Does that mean you're staying?"

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away." Rhett smiled, he was suddenly anxious to get back home. They walked into the hall and Rhett put on his coat and hat.

Melly laughed, pleased that her words may have helped. "I'm glad. Say hello to Scarlett for me. May I visit tomorrow? I'm looking forward to seeing how much Bonnie has grown."

On the porch, Rhett took Melly's small hand in his. "Until tomorrow. Good day, Mrs. Wilkes. And once again, thank you. You don't know how much you have done for us." Rhett ran down the stairs and jumped the small gate. He saw a young negro messenger boy from the train station walking down the street. Mounting Chief, Rhett gave a tilt of his hat towards Melly and left at a fast trot.

The messenger reminded Rhett that he had left his bags at the depot when his intention had been to take the night train to Charleston. With a grin, he made his way to the depot and arranged for his baggage to be delivered home . A train whistle shrieked as he stepped out of the baggage office and the steam blew from an engine as it departed. Rhett made his way out of the station and crossed the street to the Atlanta Arcade. He stepped into Thompson and Sons, Purveyors of Fine Flowers, where he chose two dozen red roses for Scarlett. He bought two nosegays, one bound with pink ribbon and the other with blue, for Ella and Bonnie and he arranged for a dozen yellow roses to be delivered to Mrs. Wilkes with a card of thanks. At the last minute, he also purchased a small posy for Mammy, she would probably throw them in the bin, but he hoped the gesture might help.

Whistling a merry tune, Rhett hurried home.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Once again, many thanks for the eagle eye and razor sharp red pen of Bluesneak.

A Ruin'd Love Chapter 3

The weak sun had finally given up and set behind the heavy rain clouds, darkening the late afternoon sky. The street lighters were already making their way down the broad avenue, igniting the gas lamps with their long wicks. The cold wind blew through the bare tree limbs overhead, rattling the branches. Rhett smiled, he was looking forward to getting home. It was so unlike how he had felt this morning. Then, he had dreaded facing Scarlett's wrath and seeing the revulsion in her eyes and knowing that her only thoughts of him were of repugnance. If it hadn't been for Bonnie, he never would have had the courage to return to Atlanta. Better to pretend it was all a bad dream than to face the reality. Yet, he was again making his way back to Scarlett, just as he had so many times before, but this time, because of Miss Melly's words, it was with the hope that the many years of dreams and longings were finally over.

He imagined walking into the house and presenting the flowers to Scarlett, seeing the delight on her face when she received the bouquet. He would then gently take her in his arms and kiss her. He would whisper in her ear and tell her how happy he was to be home again and the joy he felt that they were going to have another child. He envisioned the surprise in Scarlett's eyes as they would tilt up at him and then the smile on her lips. He wondered how long it would be before she would tell what he had yearned to hear for too many years. He laughed out loud, startling Chief and making him skitter on the cobblestones.

Maybe Sarah could cook a private dinner for two this evening. He quickly discounted the idea - Bonnie would want to join and then there was Ella and Wade. Possibly breakfast in bed tomorrow. Scarlett always loved being pampered.

He rode into the stable yard and tossed the horse reins to Tom, who had come running at the sound of Chief's hooves on the brick drive. "Give him a good brush, Tom and some extra oats. He had a long run today." Without pausing for a reply, Rhett strode towards the house just as the rain started to pelt down.

Stepping into the kitchen, he immediately noticed something was wrong. Sarah wasn't there and there was nothing cooking on the stove. The house was still. Rhett placed the flowers in the deep sink and silently went into the dining room. It was dimly lit by a single lamp on the towering mahogany sideboard and there was no fire burning in the grate. The door to the hall was ajar and light spilled in from the hallway. He stood for a moment, his senses alert. Slowly, he pulled his pocket pistol from the holster under his jacket and steadied his breathing. A high pitched laugh rang out and he heard a voice murmur in response. Rhett stealthily made his way into the hallway, past the wide staircase lit by the bronze statues of Greek gods on the newel posts. He paused away from the lights and heard a strange snapping sound coming from the front parlour. Rhett edged his way towards the parlour, cocking back the hammer of the gun while he kept to the deep shadows of the hall.

"So its dat Jimmy Johnson you be fancyin?" Prissy's shrill voice broke the quiet. "I saw him makin' googly eyes at Elsy from de Skinnah's house today."

"Hush, what you know bout love?" Isa snapped. "You ain't neva had anyone look at..My Lord, Captun Butlah..." Isa and Prissy's eyes went wide as they stood staring at Rhett standing in the doorway with his pistol aimed at them.

Rhett uncocked and lowered the gun. Glancing around the ostentatious room with its grand furniture and cluttered with gee gaws on every available surface, he took in the dust sheets which had been draped over Scarlett's slick horsehair chesterfields and silk armchairs.

"Sorry Captun Butlah, we didn't know you wus home." Isa said gripping the sheet she and Prissy had been about to put over the velvet sofa by the grand piano.

"Where's Mrs. Butler?" Rhett asked brusquely.

"She gone, suh. She left dis afternoon."

Rhett eyes flared. "Where's Miss Bonnie?"

"She gone too, and Mastah Wade and Miss Ella. Mammy too. They all gone with Missus Butlah."

"Where did they go?"

"W'all suh, I think they went to the country. Missus Butlah tole us to put de house to sleep. She din' say you would be comin' back suh. Are ya home now, Captun?"

Rhett stared unseeingly at the maids and then coldy said, "Go."

Prissy and Isa stood still, unsure of what to do.

"Get out!" Rhett said harshly to the young women.

"But suh, we ain't finished our work." Isa said, timidly.

"I said get out. Go, you fools, get out of here, now!"

Rhett spun on his heel and crossing back the hall went into his study, slamming the door hard enough to crack the molding. Tossing the gun onto his broad desk, he made his way to the liquor stand. He grabbed a heavy decanter and sloshed the bourbon into a glass, spilling some on the fine mahogany table. With a practised hand, Rhett shot back the whiskey and then poured himself another. His head was pounding and his eyes seemed to only see through a red mist. "How could I have been so gullible to believe Miss Melly? Scarlett doesn't love me - she will never love me."

He wished she was here right now so he could put his hands around her lovely white neck and squeeze the life from her. In her last seconds on earth he would tell her how much he loved her, he would see first the fear in her eyes and then the realization of how he was the one - the only one - who would love her for who she truly was and she would know how she loved him.

The door creaked open slowly. "Evenin suh." Pork stood at the doorway to Rhett's office.

Glancing over at the tall, dignified man Rhett snapped," Go away, Pork"

"Yus suh, I will, after I do up the fire for ya."

Pork bravely stepped into the room and made his way past Rhett to the fireplace. He squatted down and lit a sulphur match and set it in the iron grate. As he watched the flames lick the piled coals, Pork said, "Your bags come from de station, suh. I've taken 'em up to your room. The fire is lit and your bed turned down."

Rhett didn't answer. He stood before the bow window, staring out into the blackness as he drank more bourbon.

"Should I gets you some dinnah, suh? You should eat."

"No." Rhett tried to answer, his voice cracking. "Go, Pork. Go home to your wife."

Pork looked at the man, standing as if broken. "All's the same to you, Captun, I'll stay here. You might need me."

Rising up from the fire, Pork made his way out of the room, leaving Rhett to his dark thoughts.

The perpetual pain of loving Scarlett ripped through Rhett as he tried to take in the fact she was gone, the tables had been turned and she had left him. He glimpsed his reflection in the window. "You fool, when will you ever learn? When will she?"

He moved his way to the desk and slumped in the leathered chair. His gun lay on the blotter. He picked it up, feeling the coldness and the weight of the weapon in his hand. It would be so easy to be done with it. Shaking his head he thought, "No, not even for you, Scarlett." He holstered the Colt.

Propped up against the pewter ink stand above the blotter was an envelope. It was one from Scarlett's stationery.

Taking his silver letter opener, a present from Scarlett for his last birthday, Rhett slit open the creamy vellum. In black ink her beautiful calligraphy stood out on the paper.

_Rhett_

_Enclosed is my personal check for the money you gave me for Tara. It is made out for One Thousand, Six Hundred and Forty-Nine dollars, based on simple interest of two percent per annum. Please let me know if this does not agree with your calculations._

_I have let Wade and Ella keep the things you have given them over the years. If you wish, I will pay you for them._

_Other than that, I have taken only the things I had when I came into this marriage._

_Do with the house what you will. Sell it, burn it, I don't care. For all my hopes, it has never been a joyful home. It is a house not a home. The only good memories it holds are the birth of our darling Bonnie and the conception of the child I carry now. But even that was done with anger and spite, not love, for all the words you whispered to me that night._

_Go 'moon over your whores' as you said to me. I'm sure that is what makes you happiest._

_I would appreciate it if you could give some time with Bonnie. She is a darling girl but she needs to learn her manners. You have spoilt her terribly. Don't worry, I won't break her spirit. God knows, neither Mother nor Mammy managed to so with me. Bonnie must learn how to act in polite society, otherwise, her future as a belle will be in jeopardy and I'm sure you wouldn't want that._

_We will be at Tara if you need to communicate directly or you can contact us via Melly or Uncle Henry._

There was no salutation to the letter - no "Love From", "Yours Truly," not even "Sincerely". The letter was simply signed "Scarlett".

Rhett read through the letter again. She was gone. He had pushed too far. Why did he have to hurt her so much? Was it retaliation for all the unknowing hurt she had given him. It would have been so easy to have been polite to her this morning yet he had purposely lashed out, wanting to wound her. Jealous that Bonnie might want her mother's love as well as his? Who was the bigger fool? Did he still love her or had this become an obsession? Round and round the thoughts swirled in his mind.

The decanter was two thirds empty when Pork came back into the now smoke-filled room. Rhett sat over by the fire, holding his glass and puffing on another cheroot.

Pork put a rough cut sandwich on the table by Rhett.

"Have somethin' to eat Captun."

Rhett looked up at Pork with bleary eyes. "I prefer to do my drinking on an empty stomach."

"Anthing I can do, suh?'

"You can leave me alone." Rhett looked back to the fire. "Go to bed, Pork. Thank you, but just go."

"I'm here if ya need anything. Just call out." Pork said.

"Fine. I'll remember that. Now go."

Pork went to the window and opened it, letting in the sweet air. Glancing back, he debated how drunk Captun Butler was and if he needed to put him to bed. He wasn't like Mist' Gerald - him you always knew when he had had a bit too much - he always started to sing and tell glorious stories of long ago and then just fall asleep like a wee babe. But Captun Butlah, he became quiet and mean.

"Night suh."

Rhett threw the cigar into the dying fire. He had had enough. Enough whiskey, enough of thinking. Stretching out his long legs, he stood wavering.

Scarlett had said in her note, she had only taken what she had brought. Well, he would see about that.

Rhett left the office and staggered up the long staircase.. Holding on to the banister, he weaved at the top. How the hell had he managed to carry her up such a steep flight? Lust, he supposed. He saw light shining out of his bedroom but he veered to Scarlett's room. He pushed open the door violently, slamming it against the wall. The room was dark and he stumbled over to the lamp on her vanity. Pulling out his match box, he fought to fire the sulphur. On the third strike it ignited and he put the flame to the wick in the pink globe painted with roses. It sputtered to life and softly illuminated the room. Rhett stood and breathed in Scarlett's scent. The overly decorated room felt expectant, as if the room was waiting for it's mistress to make it come to life again. Staggering over to the left of the vanity, he threw open the doors to her enormous closet. The gowns swayed like ghosts before him. They were separated according to type. Morning gowns, tea gowns, evening gowns. The prominent colour was green but there were splashes of blues and deep reds intermixed. Hidden away at the back were two black gowns of mourning. On the floor were the many different shoes of a lady. Ankle height boots of kid and leather, delicate silk and satin dancing slippers, warm night slippers all lined up neatly in their rows. Overhead, boxes and boxes of hats sat on the shelves. A brass umbrella stand held her different parasols. Long oval shaped cases filled with gloves for Scarlett's small hands lined the tops of cedar bureaus.

Rhett violently opened the drawers filled with whale-boned corsets, delicate chemises, frothy pantilettes, silky stockings, virginal nightgowns and other fripperies. The innocent smell of lavender sachets wafted out.

All clothes that were out of date or would not fit her now. Easy to say she didn't want them anymore. Rhett smugly grinned. But if he knew Scarlett...

Back he went to the mirrored vanity. The expensive perfumes from Paris in their elegant bottles littered the table. On one side of the beveled mirror sat a fat pin cushion stuck with long, lethal hat pins. On the opposite side was Scarlett's grand jewelry box with it's inlay of mother-of-pearl and laquered finish. Rhett fumbled with his keys, trying to open the chest. It took him a few minutes before he realized it was already unlocked. He yanked on the round gold pulls and opened each of the eight drawers. Sprawling back onto the low tufted velvet chair of the vanity, he threw back his head and laughed. The chest was empty, only the imprints of where the jewels had rested were visible on the blue velvet. Of course, it was easy for Scarlett to leave all her clothes but she would never give up her jewels. That was his Scarlett, a scoundrel just like himself.

Rhett sat grinning foolishly. He inhaled the feminine scent of the room. It had been a long time since he had been welcome in this room. Had he ever been welcome? No, he had been endured as a wife's duty. Yet, after their times of intimacy, they would lie together and talk over the day, they would laugh together telling stories of their pasts, gossip about the fine folk and fall asleep in each others arms. He missed that more than anything. Those times he could pretend Scarlett loved him.

This room was so much like Scarlett. Overdressed with too many pictures and too much drapery, vain with it's pier glasses, selfish with it's luxury and yet so desirable. Rhett smelt her scent and felt her presence here. He stumbled over to the ornately carved bed with the insipid cupids gazing down at him and fell onto the billowy rose satin coverlet. His eyes closed and he fell into the dreamless sleep of a drunkard.

Cracking his eyes open the next morning, Rhett wasn't sure where he was. It looked like a finer class of bordello, but which one and in what city, he couldn't say. Slowly rising to a sitting position, he was thankful to see someone had thoughtfully left a carafe of water on the side table. He drank a glass down, wishing it would stop the sharp pain in his head. Looking about the predominantly pink and rose coloured room with bleary eyes, he realized it was Scarlett's sanctuary. He had often thought Scarlett's taste for big gilt mirrors and the lush materials rivaled any whorehouse decor he had ever seen. She had taken so much delight in planning the house, arguing with builders, carpenters,stone masons. He smiled, remembering his tiny wife shaking her finger at burly men twice her size, her 'Irish up'. She had spent hours and days choosing the flocked wall papers, Aubosson rugs to be laid over the deep red carpeting, enormous steel engravings from New York, opulent material for the plush draperies, dazzling chandeliers from France and heavy furniture from England, demanding the perfection of her ideal home. No expense was spared and he had cheerfully paid the bills that flooded in just to see the wide smile on her face.

She was right though, it had never been a happy home. Once it had been built, Scarlett's thoughts turned back to her mills and to her Ashley.

His boots stood beside the bed and a small fire burned in the grate. Pork must have been in here. Rhett got up from the bed , stretching out the crick in his neck caused by the over abundance of pillows on the bed.

Last night came back to him. He remembered why he had come in here. "I will call your bluff, my pet and cash your check" Rhett thought cynically. "Though I'm sure you think I'm too much of a gentleman to take money from a lady. How wrong you are."

After a scalding hot bath that pulled the remains of last night's whiskey out of him, a close shave and a pot of bitter coffee, inexpertly made by Pork, Rhett was ready for the day. He went to his office to retrieve Scarlett's cheque from his desk and saw a small note sitting on his blotter.

"Dear Captain Butler;" it read, "I received Scarlett's message just after you left my home, yesterday. I had no idea she was planning on traveling to Tara to have her baby. If there is anything I can do, please do not hesitate to ask. Yours Sincerely, Mrs. A. Wilkes

Post Script Thank you so much for the lovely flowers. You are much too kind."

"If only how she knew how unkind I am, Miss Melly would run screaming from me." Rhett thought grimly . He knew that she only could think the best of those she loved, yet aside from Beau, none of us deserve her kindness.

Rhett folded the check into his billfold and wrapped his rain cape over his shoulders.

The rain was falling heavily as Rhett walked along the box hedged lined path to the stables. Chief was saddled and waiting for him in the yard.

"Thanks Tom." Rhett said as he took the reins from elderly man. "I think Mr. Butler could use a bit more exercise." Rhett swung his leg up and over the saddle of the stallion. "Take him for a run, he's looking a bit fat." Rhett ordered.

"He gone sir." Tom said, holding on to Chief's bridle.

"Yur missus had he sent off to the country, was yesterday he wus put on the train, 'long with his tack and saddle."

Rhett looked down at him. "She doesn't miss a trick, does she?" Rhett smirked.

"Sorry, suh?"

"Never marry, Tom. Women have their way of tormenting us when we least expect it."

"I'm still single suh, I think I'm safe." Tom grinned.

"You never know. I thought the same thing and look at me now." Rhett pulled at the reins and steered Chief out to the street.

Rhett strode up the stairs and entered the bank. His steps echoed on the marble floors as he made his way over towards the teller behind the tall, mahogany desks.

"Captain Butler! Good day sir!" A plump, florid man rushed over with his hand outstretched towards Rhett. "So good to see you again, sir."

Rhett stopped and quickly scanned his memory. The bank manager of the First Atlanta Bank. "Why, Mr. Harris. How are you sir?" Rhett politely said. He joined hands with the man, feeling the soft, pampered hand of the man.

Mr. Harris blushed, pleased that such an important man as Captain Butler would remember his name..

"Very well sir. Thank you. Mrs. Butler suggested that would you be in soon. Here is your key."

"My key?" Rhett asked

"Yes, sir. For the security box. Would you care to check it to ensure all is present and accounted for?" Mr. Harris presented a long, thin key to Rhett.

Rhett glanced down at the outstretched hand. "That would be fine, sir. Show me the way."

The fussy man led Rhett down a narrow hallway and into a large vault.

"I believe it is box 169." Scanning over a high wall of metal drawers set into the wall, Mr Harris said "Yes, here it is." Taking the key, he unlocked the box and pulled it out from the wall. "There is a table and chair for you sir. I will give you your privacy. Here is your key. When you are finished just replace the box in its slot and turn the key. Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?"

"That will be all, Mr. Harris. Thank you, sir." Mr. Harris bowed and turned to go. " Just a minute, yes, there is something you could do for me. Could you please deposit this check into my personal account. It would save me some time." Rhett pulled out Scarlett's check and handed to the obsequious man.

"Of course sir. I will see to it immediately. Good day to you, sir."

"And to you, sir."

Rhett waited until Mr. Harris had gone and then unlatched the metal box. His curiosity was piqued. Inside the safe box, tidily packed, were jeweller's cases. Rhett pulled each one out and slowly opened them. They revealed all the jewels and gems Rhett had ever given Scarlett. The emerald earbobs he had given her on their wedding night, the diamond broach for their first wedding anniversary, the long rope of pearls when Bonnie was born. At the bottom lay a square red velvet box. Rhett cautiously opened it. As he knew - dreaded he would see - lay the ring he had bought, the one he had specifically had made to be as large and as garish as possible, surprising the Bond Street jeweller who had always known Mr. Butler's fine taste in jewels. It was another one of Rhett's cruel jokes - to brand Scarlett as no better than a paid whore - his whore.

Looking at the gaudy ring with its enormous diamond surrounded by eight emeralds, Rhett noticed a thin strip of paper tucked in between the gold band and the velvet. In very small letters was written: 'You never believe me, do you? Even when I tell you the truth.'

 


	4. Chapter 4

_I swear The Infamous and Infallible Bluesneak must have almost run out of her supply of red ink after doing her beta-best with this. The opening of this chapter came from a discussion between The Princess and I many months ago._

A Ruin'd Love - Chapter 4

Bonnie was feeling so bored. Ages ago, Momma had brought them all to the house she had lived in when she was a little girl. It was just after Daddy had brought her back from smelly old London. But Daddy hadn't come and he had been gone ever so long. She missed Daddy. She kept asking when he was coming but everyone would get quiet and Momma would start talking about how much she loved being at Tara and how much she loved having her little precious back with her. It was fun to begin with here at Tara. She had been given lots of cuddles and kisses from Momma and Ella and even Mammy. Wade had been nice and Mr. Butler seemed to like being in the country, Uncle Will told her what a fine pony he was. Auntie Suellen seemed mad all the time and said she was just like her Momma but Momma was so pretty, Bonnie was glad that she was 'cause Cousin Susie and Cousin Purity were just like their Momma, mean and ugly.

Christmas had been fun and Father Christmas had found her, even though she hadn't written him and he had filled her stocking with candy but he gave the same things to Wade and Ella and her cousins. Daddy hadn't come but he had sent her a big dollhouse, and a chemistry set to Wade, and a tiny tea set for Ella - but one of the cups broke when she had just touched it! She had tried to say sorry but Ella had cried and Momma got cross.

Daddy gave Momma a set of handkerchiefs with her initials and in a huge box with gold ribbon and pretty silver tissue was the most beautifullest green dress! The card said is was to go with some old hat. Momma had almost cried when she opened her present but then she got mad and put the dress away in the back of her wardrobe.

Then the next day Momma was sick and couldn't play or even read her a story and Mammy kept telling her to hush and Wade said she was a baby or something about a baby and then they told her she had a little brother! She had been curious to see him but all he did was sleep and cry and Momma only wanted to sleep and cry too. She had tried to give the baby a molasses snap one day and he started to make funny noises after she had put it in his mouth and Mammy came running, which had made Bonnie laugh seeing the big woman puffing up the stairs, and then Mammy scolded her and wouldn't listen even when she told her she was sharing just like Mammy had told her to do. Mammy said she was bad and sent her outside.

Ella liked the baby even when he made smells and Wade just wanted to work on his chemistry or read his books that had no pictures in them.

Big Sam had told her she couldn't ride Mr. Butler today because he had a bad tummy from all the apples she had given him yesterday. She was tired of playing with her dollhouse and she wasn't allowed to play with Ella's tea set anymore. She was so bored she would have even played with Cousin Purity or Cousin Susie but Momma had sent them to Savannah with Auntie because Auntie's nerves were bad and she needed a rest. And so because she had nothing else to do, she was sitting outside Momma's bedroom kicking the wall, wishing someone would come and play with her.

Finally, Ella came out of Momma's room with her old dolly, talking to it like Momma talked to the baby.

"Sshh, Bonnie. Mother and Mammy are trying to get Baby Boy to sleep."

"Let me play with Susie, Ella."

"No, Bonnie. She's my baby doll." Ella said. "And I have just gotten her off to sleep so you must be quiet."

Bonnie grabbed the old, well-loved dolly.

"I want to play with her. Give her to me!"

Ella held tightly to her favourite toy. "No, Bonnie! Stop it - let her go!"

Bonnie wasn't used to not getting her own way, and she started to shriek, "I want her! Give her to me!" Holding tightly, each girl started a desperate tug of war with the sad dolly.

The door to Scarlett's room flew open and Scarlett came out, fit to be tied and ready to scold the girls for making so much noise. Mammy was right behind, hushing the girls as they had just gotten the baby off to sleep. Bonnie, using Ella's momentary distraction, pulled with all her strength and Ella lost her balance, toppling backwards down the steep stairs, futilely grasping for the banister as she flipped over and over to land in a heap at the bottom of the staircase.

With a scream, Scarlett ran down the stairs, her heeled slippers clacking on the uncarpeted steps. Bonnie stood surprised, her blue eyes wide and Susie dangled in her arms, now unwanted. Mammy grasped Bonnie tightly by the arm, pinching her hard. "You'se a wicked child, Miss Bonnie. Start sayin' you prayers your sister be all right." she hissed. Mammy lumbered down the stairs, leaving Bonnie terrified at what she had caused.

Scarlett kneeled down beside Ella's crumpled figure. "Baby girl, wake up. Ella, open your eyes for Momma." She kept her voice firm and soft, not allowing herself to give in to her fear that Ella was dead.

Will and Big Sam, startled by Scarlett's scream, had run in from the kitchen where they had been eating their midday supper.

"Ella, please, wake up." Scarlett continued. "Please Ella, it's time to wake up now."

Ella uttered a soft groan and her eyes fluttered open."Mother, it hurts." The little girl whispered, tears and pain flooding her face.

Relieved that the fall hadn't killed her, Scarlett said "Oh my little Ella. That was a bad tumble you took."

"My leg hurts, Mother." Ella whimpered.

Scarlett lifted Ella's skirts that had bunched around her and saw a lump pushing out from her white stocking by her shin. Scarlett looked up, panicked by the sight. Will mouthed to Scarlett, "It's broke."

"Get a doctor, Will, as fast as you can. Big Sam, can you carry Ella to the sofa in the parlour?"

Will tore outside to the stables and Big Sam picked up the fragile little girl and followed Scarlett into the front room with Mammy behind, sliding the pocket doors shut.

Bonnie sat down at the bottom of the stairway and started to weep. Never had she been so scared or so sorry. Clasping her pudgy little hands together, she tried to say a prayer but she couldn't remember any. The thought of God looking down at her made her more frightened and she cried harder.

Rhett made his way down the muddy road from Jonesboro. He had hired a horse at the stables there and it was balky, however, he was in no rush to arrive at Tara and if it hadn't been for his Mother, he probably wouldn't have even been in Georgia.

He had left Atlanta immediately after his visit to the bank and had gone to New Orleans, where he had drunk himself blind for weeks. He threw his money around, standing drinks for whole saloons, buying magnums of champagne for hard-bitten madams and tossing ten dollar coins to the pickaninnies on street corners. One bleary night, he had run into one of his old cohorts from his blockading days who had, with a leer and a wink, asked after Rhett's ever-so-charming and delightful wife. It had taken most of Rhett's strength not to beat the bastard to a pulp; instead he had shouted him a drink. He sobered up enough to buy Christmas presents for his mother, sister, Scarlett and the children, but Christmas day was spent in a sporting club with whores as drunk and maudlin as he. No matter how much liquor he drank or how many whores he bedded he could not forget the look of hatred and pain Scarlett had given him on the staircase. His self-disgust was ever present, taunting him, digging at his very core.

On New Year's Eve, the proprietress of Aphrodite's Palace, Margarite, had hired the infamous voodoo priestess, Marie Laveau and her daughter to entertain her gentleman guests as a bit of fun to go with their champagne and 'tarnished angels'. She told their fortunes and offered love potions to help them increase their pleasure with the lady or ladies of their choosing.

"Madame Marie, help me with this one!" Margarite laughingly pulled Rhett over to the wizened old Negress. "My girls fight with each other over him and cry and moan when he does not favour them with his smile. Help me Madame!" the blowzy woman screeched.

Rhett bowed deeply to the old woman. "Enchante, Dame Marie."

"Sit! " the aged woman demanded. "Give me your right hand."

Rhett slumped down in the chair opposite and smiled across the table as he held out his hand.

"As you wish."

Madame Laveau held his hand in her talons and started to murmur in some incoherent tongue.

Darting her sharp brown eyes up at his black ones, her nails dug into his hand.

"Why are you here when you are meant to be with the one you love?"

Margarite threw back her head and shrieked with laughter. "He loves everyone of them and they him. Can't you be a bit more specific?"

Madame Marie ignored her and held her eyes on Rhett. "You will not find the happiness you wish for here, monsieur. You must go to her whom you yearn for." Madame Laveau adamantly said.

"Hold up, what are you saying? You're not meant to send the good paying customers away, you old hag!" Margarite started to squawk.

Rhett swiftly stopped her tirade. "Margarite, you are drunk and I am dry. Get me another bottle of champagne and two glasses." Rhett dismissed the florid woman with such coldness that Margarite meekly left the table.

As he waited for his bottle, Rhett kept his eyes on the old woman opposite him. She seemed unperturbed by his relentless stare and tapped her finger in time to the raucous piano music and gazed at the Bacchanalia swirling around them. She held her head with its yellow calico turban with as much majesty as any crowned head of Europe. She had high cheekbones and a proud forehead and eyes that missed nothing.

Rhett knew something about the voodoo she practised and though he discounted much of it as no better than snake oil for the uneducated classes, he knew that some things could not be explained away.

A dark-haired girl with loose ringlets sliding over her bare white shoulders and wearing only a pair of lace trimmed pantalettes with her rolled stockings and her high-heeled slippers delivered the champagne and glasses to the table. She stroked Rhett's shoulders, brushing her young breasts against him and she leaned down for a kiss.

"On your way Lulu. I'm sure you have other customers more interested." With a pout, she spun away from him and into the arms of a fat, sweating man and began to dance, wincing as the buffoon tread on her toe.

Rhett poured the sparkling wine and said "A votre sante." lifting his glass to Madame Laveau.

"A la votre." she replied.

Rhett waited for her to speak again but when she didn't, he realized she held the whip hand and was waiting for him.

"I am interested in your belief I should leave here."

"I said you should go to the one you love."

"I have a young daughter whom I love with all my heart." Rhett said smoothly.

"Not all your heart, monsieur. There is another who possesses it. The mother of the much loved daughter, oui?" the priestess turned her eyes back to him.

Rhett sipped from his glass.

Madame Marie continued, "You have loved her for a very long time and it has caused you much suffering. Am I not speaking the truth?" Rhett shrugged his shoulders. "And she? The one you love so passionately, does she feel the pain of loving you?"

" I doubt it. She thinks she loves another, one she cannot have."

"Have you told her the depth of your love for her? " the queen challenged.

Rhett slowly shook his head.

"Ah - la, well maybe you should!" Madame Marie said subtly.

Rhett sneered. "And what good would that do?"

"It is as lancing the inflamed boil. It is better to have the poison out and then one can heal. Either she loves you and wishes for you to tell her of your love- possibly she doesn't know she loves you-or maybe she does not love at all and never will. Have you been kind to her or only to the cherished daughter?" Once again Rhett stayed mute. "Ah, and you relieve your pain by being cruel, n'est pas? And then you drink and cry, boo-hoo, she does not love me, like a little boy in short pants. Maybe you don't want her to love you. It may be that you prefer the pain to the ecstasy."

"You don't know her. It wouldn't be easy."

"In life, what of value is easy to obtain? Tssah, do as you wish. If you prefer to buy your love from those who sell it to the highest bidder and drink yourself to death because something isn't easy, so be it. It means nothing to me. I tell you though, you will never find the happiness you seek until you go to her and convince her of your true love. Bonn Annee, monsieur."

Rhett was dismissed from the Queen's presence and rose from the table. Lulu now sat on the fat man's lap and he sucked at her breasts with his liverish lips as she drank from a champagne bottle.

Finally, shaking himself out of his stupor, Rhett had gone back to Charleston to escort his Mother to the St. Cecilia. The whiskey had ravaged his looks and his body was spent from too little sleep and too little food. His mother had been shocked by his appearance and had informed him she had no interest in him staying with her and that his brother would be a more suitable escort to the ball. She had suggested he should go back home to his wife. A letter from Melanie had been sent to the Charleston address politely notifying him of the birth of his son. He briefly wondered if Scarlett had asked Melly to write him but dismissed the idea. Scarlett would never admit to anyone, least of all Miss Melly, that she was vulnerable or needed help with anything or from anyone.

Rhett had chosen to ignore the mad ramblings of the witch. What could she know of Scarlett or of him? The Priestess, Madame Laveau, was no doubt in her senility, talking of someone else and he had been drunk and gulled by her trickery.

And so, with nowhere else to go, Rhett had slowly made his way to Clayton County. This was Scarlett's land, not his. His was the bright lights and bustling crowds of big cities - wild, unsettled countries with danger ever-present or endless oceans sailed. He looked at the miserable desolation of this once proud land. A lone chimney stood sentinel over what must have been some one's home. Pine trees, dark and silent, edged the carriage track, low rock walls bordered fields, barren except for the broomsedge and scrub oak that seemed to flourish.

A flash of white caught his eye. It was a man on horseback, riding as if the hounds of Hell were chasing him. He was riding bareback, his body bent low on the horses neck, pushing the beast to its full gallop. Rhett pulled up on his own horse, marveling at how well the rider was taking the jumps over walls and rotten fences. As the horse and rider came parallel to him, he saw clods of red clay flying from the horse's hooves, the pale blonde hair of the rider and as they flashed by, a trouser leg hitched up showing a wooden leg. It was Will Benteen, Scarlett's brother-in-law. Rhett raised his hand but Will was gone without a backward glance. Rhett thought to chase after him, but doubted his horse could catch up. Had something happened at Tara? Rhett dug his sharp spurs into the horse's flanks making it jump forward into a canter. Seeing Will's wild ride had made Rhett anxious and he spurred the mule of horse with an urgency to get to Tara.

The grand cedar tree lined drive was uneven and potholed but the fields were neatly furrowed and fenced. Scarlett's money had been well spent returning the plantation to some of its former glory.

Rhett pulled up at the house and dismounted. With some trepidation, he walked up the stairs onto the porch, pausing, he wondered what kind of welcome he would receive - at least Bonnie would be happy to see him again.

He stood before the great door, his hand ready to knock, when he heard the pitiful crying of a child. "Bonnie!" Rhett swung into the hallway and there she was...

"Daddy, Daddy!" his little girl hurled herself at him. Rhett grasped her,clutching her body, smelling her sweetness.

"Daddy, take me away! I hate it here! Please, Daddy, please. Momma is so mean and so is Mammy. Daddy, please, I want to go now. Please."

Rhett held the little girl tightly. She was wearing a simple little wool dress with a tidy white pinafore overlaid, so unlike the velvets and satins he had bought her. His pride lightened hearing Bonnie's plaintive complaints, she wanted to leave and her mother was mean.

"Of course, precious. Of course I will take you. Anywhere in the world you want to go."

He looked up as the pocket door slid open. There stood Scarlett, his Scarlett, looking pale and scared. He let go of Bonnie and stood, wanting to take his wife in his arms and hold her until kingdom come. A distant memory of feeling her slim waist under his hand when they had first danced together at the bazaar came to him.

"It's you," Scarlett snapped. "Where is the doctor?"

Rhett bowed low. "I always relish the warm welcomes you bestow on me. Hello Mrs. Butler. How are you today? Feeling a bit peckish? Is that why you are in need of a doctor?"

"I"d be a damn sight better with a doctor than with you. Where is the doctor?"

Rhett heard the tension in Scarlett's voice and dropped his mockery. "Why do you need a doctor? What is wrong?"

"Ask Bonnie. She can tell you." Scarlett retorted. She swiftly turned and went back into the parlour.

Rhett looked down at Bonnie who was hiding her face in her hands. "Bonnie...what happened?"

The little girl jumped up and ran out to the front porch and Rhett was at a loss as to which way he should go.

Choosing the easier of two, Rhett followed Bonnie outside. She sat on the porch bench with her arms crossed over her bent head, hiding herself. Rhett moved to her.

"Bonnie, can you tell me what's wrong?" He waited but getting no response, decided on a different tack. Rhett squatted down in front of her. "I'm hurt Bonnie. You haven't given your best sweetheart a kiss yet."

Bonnie raised her tearful little face up to him. " Why have you been away so awfully long, Daddy? I missed you so much and so did Mr. Butler. We kept 'specting you to come but you didn't. And Mr. Butler has been so sad with missing you, he told me his heart was broken."

A stab of guilt hit Rhett. He had hurt the one person who loved him unconditionally, out of spite to the one he loved to madness.

Rhett pulled his black haired princess onto his lap and said, "Did Mr. Butler say that? I am sorry Bonnie. I didn't know I would be gone so long. Do you think Mr. Butler will forgive me if I give him some sugar?"

Reluctantly, Bonnie nodded. "And will you forgive me if I give you a new toy?"

A darling smile lit up Bonnie's face and brought back the twinkle in her eyes and the dimples in her cheeks. "Did you bring it with you, Daddy? What is it?"

Rhett smiled, relieved at how easy it was to get back in Bonnie's good graces. It once had been that simple with Scarlett. A packet of pins, a Parisian bonnet, a gaudy ring.

"All in good time, sweetheart." Rhett squeezed her tightly, relishing being with his darling girl again. "Bonnie, your mother said that you could tell me why the doctor is coming." he said softly.

Bonnie covered her face again, playing ostrich.

"Bonnie, why can't you tell me? We're not meant to have secrets." Rhett waited and finally Bonnie mumbled something.

"Honey, I can't hear you when you whisper into your hands."

Peeking through her chubby little fingers, Bonnie pleaded, "Can't we go now, Daddy? I want to go. Please..."

"But darling, I've barely seen your mother and I would like to visit with Wade and Ella before we go."

At the mention of Ella's name, Bonnie blocked her ears and squeezed her eyes shut and wailed loudly.

"Bonnie Blue Butler, what is the matter?" But, for all Rhett's cajoling, Bonnie refused to answer,

The sound of horses coming down the drive distracted him from the frustration of begging Bonnie to speak to him. Will rode up, his horse sweating and frothing at the mouth from his hard ride. Alongside rode a serious looking young man with dark hair and eyes They dismounted and tossed their reins onto the ancient camellia bush that grew by the stairs.

"This way, Dr. Stein." Will led the man carrying a black medical bag to the porch and through to the parlour.

Rhett followed and grasped Will by the arm. "Will, what the hell is going on?"

Will turned his calm grey eyes to Rhett. "Hello, Rhett. Long time no see. Welcome to Tara."

Rhett tamped down his anxiousness and remembered the ways of the South, nothing should be rushed, everything must be taken at a slow pace. "Thank you. It's good to see you again, Will."

He casually asked, "Could you tell me who the doctor is for?"

Will spoke unhurriedly. "Ella had a bad fall and her leg looks broke. Scarlett sent me to get Dr. Stein. He's new here abouts, from somewhere's in Europe but a fine doctor none the less."

Rhett paused before asking, "How did Ella fall?"

"Well, can't say for certain. " Will shrugged. "Maybe Scarlett knows, you best ask her. Well now if you'll excuse me, I need to get my horse some water and a rub down."

"Of course. And Will, you're a fine rider. I saw you take jumps that would have given me pause."

Will sleepily smiled "I doubt there was ever a jump you were ever afraid to take.

Maybe we can share a smoke later, Rhett. It'd be good to catch up."

"I'd like that Will."

Will stumped out the door and led his exhausted horse back to the stables. The parlour door was slightly open and Rhett peered through. The doctor was gently binding Ella's leg as Scarlett listened to his instructions. Scarlett sat by Ella, softly stroking her coarse curls. The doctor finished his bandaging and started to pack his bag. Scarlett rose up. "Thank you sir for coming so quickly."

Dr. Stein bowed and replied with a foreign accent, "I will return tomorrow to check on her. Please remember my instructions, Madam Butler." With a click of his heels, the man left, nodding at Rhett as he passed him in the hallway.

Rhett watched as Scarlett stroked Ella's cheek and kissed her on the forehead. She murmured something, too softly for Rhett to hear and then, straightening her back, came out to the hallway.

"Scarlett, how is Ella?" Rhett's voice seemed to startle Scarlett.

"You're still here? Hmmmph." Scarlett drew a deep ragged breath. "Her leg is badly fractured and the doctor has bound it. He gave her some laudanum but he's worried she may have a concussion." She glanced up at him. "You look terrible, maybe you should see the doctor before he leaves." But she didn't seem care if he did or not.

"How did it happen?" Rhett asked.

"Bonnie didn't tell you? Well, I'm not surprised, it's not something to brag about. Where is she?"

"On the porch, crying her eyes out." Scarlett moved towards the door. "Wait, Scarlett. What does Bonnie have to do with Ella's fall?"

"Not now, Rhett, I have to speak to her."

Rhett grasped Scarlett, stopping her. "What are you going to say to her?" he demanded.

Scarlett angrily threw off his hand. "I'm going to teach her a lesson she should have learned by now and I'll thank you to leave me alone while I do it!" Pulling the green paisley shawl around her too thin shoulders, Scarlett stepped out on to the porch.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Rhett stood still, momentarily taken aback by Scarlett's forceful tone. He was surprised at her. She had always let him deal with Bonnie before. After all, Bonnie was his child and he knew how to raise her. Scarlett knew nothing about children and only ever managed to terrify them. Rhett's lip pulled up in a sneer. This should be interesting.

Rhett followed her to the door, stood back in it's shadow,and silently watched as Scarlett went to Bonnie, ready to step in if she dared raise a hand to his precious girl.

He saw Scarlett swiftly take Bonnie in her arms and sit down. Bonnie squirmed, her little body tight and fighting against the embrace. But Scarlett, instead of letting go, began to slowly rock back and forth. Bonnie continued to fidget, kicking at the chair but Scarlett held firm, her face impassive. Rhett heard her begin to hum an old lullaby and was surprised to see his little darling start to relax, and then finally, begin to nestle into Scarlett's arms.

They sat quietly for a few minutes and then Scarlett spoke.

"You made me very sad, little one."

Bonnie began to kick the chair again as Scarlett continued speaking quietly.

"I was very disappointed with you. Do you know why?"

Bonnie hid her face on Scarlett's breast.

"I was disappointed because I know not only are you pretty and smart as a whip but also deep inside, you have a kind heart. What you did was not kind though."

Bonnie tried to wriggle out of Scarlett's arms but Scarlett held firm. Gently she said, "No, Bonnie, you must listen, you must learn that you can't always get what you want. I know you didn't mean to hurt Ella, that you wanted to play with Suzie but Ella had told you no."

Scarlett paused, stroking Bonnie's silky hair. "When I was little, I used to think hearing the word 'no' was the worst thing ever! It took me a long time to realize I couldn't always get what I wanted."

"You can get everything you want now that you are a big person, Mama." Bonnie pouted.

"No, honey. Not even big people get everything they want. But you learn that maybe something you think you really want, once you get it, doesn't mean so much after all. And maybe the things you do have, are all you really need." Scarlett said. " You are a big girl now, darling, not a little baby anymore. You know right from wrong and you know inside that what you did was wrong. Don't you?"

Bonnie clutched Scarlett tightly and nodded.

The two of them rocked together.

"Mama, is Ella going to die?" Bonnie's eyes filled with tears.

"No, darling. But her leg is very hurt and so is her head."

Bonnie started to sob, "Mama, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt her."

"I know, baby girl, I know. But you see, sometimes you can hurt someone without even meaning to. It can happen so fast and before you know it, everything has changed. That is why I want you to promise me you will try to be nice to Ella and Wade and do what Mammy says. Can I have your word?"

Bonnie, with tears running down her plump cheeks, sniffed as she vigorously nodded.

" Good girl. Hush now, don't cry. How about this? How about you make a pretty get well card for Ella and you can say sorry in it?"

"I could give her Josephine too!"

Scarlett mentally went through all the dolls that Bonnie owned and remembered Josephine. She was a beautiful French porcelain doll with black hair and blue eyes that closed and a fine royal blue satin gown that Rhett had given when Bonnie was just a baby.

"That is very kind of you, Bonnie but no. Your daddy bought Josephine just for you, just like Ella's daddy bought Suzie just for her. That is why Suzie is so special for her because she doesn't have her daddy anymore."

"Mama, do you still love me?" Bonnie nervously asked.

Scarlett kissed the little girl's cheek and said, "I love you, my Bonnie Blue and never forget it.

You will always be my baby girl, even when you are grown up lady with babies of your own. "

Bonnie hugged Scarlett tightly. "I love you, Mama. You are the best Mama ever!"

"Why, that is fine to hear." Scarlett hugged her youngest daughter back. "Shall we go see Ella now?"

Rhett silently darted away from the front door and hid in the room opposite the parlour as Scarlett and Bonnie entered from the porch and made their way to the parlour and Ella.

He was shocked at the scene he had just witnessed. Scarlett had somehow managed to show Bonnie how naughty she had been - (though Rhett still had no idea what had occurred) - and she had done it without threats or spankings or even a raised voice.

"Will wonders never cease?" he thought. He crept into the hallway towards the parlour, hoping to continue spying.

His sharp ears heard an unfamiliar sound, he listened intently and realized it was a baby grizzling. Taking the stairs two at a time, he followed the sound towards the room where his son lay.

Scarlett sighed and shrugged her shoulders, trying to relieve their tightness. She was so tired. Every day seemed to bring one childish drama after another. But Bonnie was slowly learning her manners and for this she was thankful. She had never spent so much time with her children as she had for the last two months.

She smiled as Bonnie effusively apologized to Ella, who was still woozy from the hard bump to her head. Mammy stood guard over Ella, soothing her with a cool rag and kind words.

Scarlett's breasts started the familiar prickling, signaling it was time to feed the baby. Making her way upstairs, she could hear the baby fretting. "Oh my boyo, I am so sorry. Mama is here ..." Scarlett said as she opened her bedroom door. Rhett stood holding the baby, trying unsuccessfully to soothe him.

The terrifying memory of Rhett once threatening to drown any son she bore him flashed in her mind. Deliberately Scarlett kept her voice calm. "Give him to me."

"He's my son." Rhett replied, with a smirk on his dark, gaunt face, as he held the wriggling child.

"Yes, he is, but right now he needs his mother. Give him to me, Rhett."

Rhett gently passed the now squalling baby to Scarlett and watched as she efficiently changed his wet diaper, murmuring words of love to the hungry child. Scarlett settled in the battered slipper chair by the window, unbuttoned her basque and guided the babe's mouth to her nipple. A softness fell over Scarlett's face as she stroked the baby's cheek and his small fist rubbed against her breast as he suckled greedily.

Rhett moved toward them, sitting himself on the blanket chest at the foot of the bowed, scarred four-poster bed. The baby mewed when Scarlett detached him from her nipple but quickly accepted the change to her other breast. The wintery sun silhouetted her face, her strong jaw, her high cheekbones which emphasized the hollowness of her cheeks.

Her green eyes looked over at Rhett, surprising him from his absorption of the mother and child tableau.

"Yes, he is your son. Did you ever doubt it? I wouldn't be surprised - most of Atlanta did." The hurt was plain in her tone.

"No, I never doubted it," Rhett said slowly. " But then I didn't know of it, either. Not until I came back to Atlanta."

"How was I supposed to tell you?" Scarlett shot back. "You weren't here. You were God knows where and with God knows who."

"You could have written me, I would have come home."

"Oh, and at what address? I don't think you gave me one or did I just mislay it?" Scarlett said bitterly.

The baby, asleep now, released his mouth from Scarlett and his heavy head fell back on her supporting arm. Rhett took in the glimpse of the full breast and large aerole before Scarlett shifted the baby and buttoned up her basque again. Her eyes looked at Rhett, hungry for a kind word.

She kissed the baby's cheek and gently carried him to his cradle, laying him down. The baby grizzled and his beautiful lips sucked at an imaginary nipple. The sweep of his black lashes lay still on his plump cheeks.

Rhett stood beside Scarlett, gazing down at this perfect child, marveling at him.

"What is his name?"

"I don't know."

Tired of the bickering, wishing for an amnesty, Scarlett said gracefully, "I wanted his father to help me decide. His middle name is Gerald and of course his surname is Butler. Do you have any suggestions?"

Rhett's fear of Scarlett's hold on him rose up again, ripping in his chest.

"How about Ashley?" he said flippantly.

Scarlett flew into a fury, her nails itching to claw at Rhett's mocking face. "Of course, perfect. Why am I not surprised that you would be so low? Yes, that's what I'll name him...Ashley Wilkes Butler. Wouldn't that be lovely, how all Atlanta would be pleased. Never mind, Mr. Butler," she hissed venomously, " I'm sorry I bothered waiting for your ideas." Scarlett took in a deep breath, trying to control her anger.

"Why are you here, Rhett? To insult me? If so, you have succeeded and so you can leave now."

There was a long pause as they both looked at each other, Scarlett with anger and hurt and Rhett, as always, a mystery.

"I am here to to see my children, all four of them." he finally said.

Tears sprung into Scarlett's eyes. Why was it always so difficult with Rhett, so complicated? She wanted nothing more than for him to take her in his arms, to make her believe that he cared.

And the great irony was, that is what Rhett wanted as well. He wanted to wipe the slate clean and start afresh.

He stepped towards her, "Scarlett, I came here, to your Tara, to tell you that..."

A tap at the door stopped him and Wade stepped in the the room. "Excuse me for interrupting, Mother, but Ella is asking for you."

Rhett felt a wave of relief at the interruption. "What a coward I am," he thought to himself, wishing he had a glass of whiskey near at hand, wishing he had the grit to tell Scarlett how he truly felt.

"Thank you, Wade," Scarlett said. Glancing over at at Rhett and then at the baby, she patted Wade's arm and walked out the door.

Wade nodded his head at Rhett and turned to follow Scarlett.

"Don't go yet, Wade. Stay, I'd like to talk to you. It's been while since I last..." Rhett stumbled, when was the last time he had spoken to Wade?

"You've grown. What are you now? Five two, five three?" Rhett fell back on the old words of elders speaking to young people.

"Five foot, four, sir." Wade said politely.

"You'll be tall like your father."

The baby grizzled in his sleep and Rhett turned towards the cradle.

"Congratulations on the birth of your son, sir." Wade said.

"Another son." Rhett replied gazing down at the babe.

"Sir?"

Rhett looked at Wade. "Haven't we gone through this once before, Wade...when Bonnie was born?"

Wade blushed, his boyish cheeks reddening. "I wasn't sure, since he was born." Wade stood beside Rhett, looking down at his brother. "Will helped me make the rattle for him."

Rhett picked up the carved shaker, a horse's head engraved on the dried gourd and heard the seeds rattling inside.

"You have a talent with your hands, that's good." Rhett slowly turned the rattle in his hand. "How is your school work going?"

"Fine, sir. Mother was pleased with my half-year reports. l'm starting at St. Andrews Preparatory School next week."

Rhett knew the school. No Yankees allowed. A few of the more well-to-do Southerners had established it and General Pleasance was the head master. The staff was made up of officers from the War - educated men who had fallen on hard times since Reconstruction.

"I'll be a boarder this term, as Mother doesn't..." Wade faltered, not sure how much he should tell Uncle Rhett of Mother's plans.

"Your mother doesn't want to live in Atlanta?" Rhett finished Wade's sentence. " I don't blame her." Rhett murmured under his breath. What hell must Scarlett have endured while he was gone?

"Sir?"

Rhett shook himself out of his dark thoughts. "Never mind. I'm just speaking to myself."

Rhett grinned over at the young boy. " I'd like to take you to school, if that's alright, Wade. Make sure you have everything you need, see you settled in."

"Would you, sir? That would be grand!" Wade knew the teasing he would receive from the other boys if Mother, or worse yet, Mammy took him to school. He had no doubt that his classmates would have their fathers there or at least their uncles. He knew that his own father was a great war hero - Auntie Melly had often told him so - but still it would be nice to have his Uncle Rhett there beside him on the first day.

"How about we go to Atlanta the day before, we can get the lay of the land, make sure you have everything you need and then maybe dine out somewhere. I'd like to spend some time with you, son."

"Thank you, sir. I'd like that fine!" Wade's voice cracked.

"Good. I look forward to it." Rhett's eyes moved back to baby asleep in the old oak cradle. His skin tone was a dark shade and Rhett could see the strong resemblance between his small son and the reflection in his own mirror. The nose was proud and the forehead strong. This was his son, his own blood, a Butler.

Looking down at the small child, his deep red lips curved in a toothless smile, his tiny arms splayed out, Rhett felt a greater fear than being confronted by the enormous Texan with his twelve inch blade. This tiny baby terrified Rhett. Would this child make him into his father? Would he beat him, force him to submit to his rule, impress him to follow the Code? A boy was so different from a daughter. With Bonnie, he could spoil her, give her everything she asked for, make her his little princess - but a son, his son, had to learn right from wrong, how to be a gentleman with ladies yet fight like a man. He would need to learn how to be light on his feet, not only in the ballroom with his hand on a slim waist but on the dueling ground,too. When to lie and when to tell the truth. He would have to learn compassion for those weaker yet have the character to stand up to those bigger and stronger. He would have to learn honour.l Hard lessons for one so small.

Wade cleared his throat. "Well, sir, I think I'll go and see if I can find a book that Ella might like to read. If you'll excuse me."

Rhett looked at the slim young man, seeing the boy's father in him, the thick chestnut hair and soft brown eyes filled with kindness.

"Yes, Wade, go ahead. I think I will see if your mother needs anything for Ella in Jonesboro."

Wade turned towards the door.

"Wade," Rhett stopped him, "It's good to see you again, son."

Wade grinned and his cheeks blushed as he left the bedoom.

Rhett looked down again at his little boy. Bending over the cradle, he kissed the plump cheek and gave his finger into the tiny hand. The baby grasped firmly hold of it. Rhett felt his heart skip. He smoothed the child's dark curls. "I love you, my boy," Rhett whispered, "And I promise, I will do my best for you."

 


	6. Chapter 6

Brought to by the gentle prodding of ladymuse and the kind encouragement of dear sara. 

 

A Ruin'd Love – Chapter 6

 

Rhett quietly closed the door of Scarlett's bedroom, his heart filled with pride over his new son and his body coursing with strength again. He was surprised at his feelings over this little baby. He had always sworn he never wanted a son, boys were too much trouble, hadn't he proved that to his Father so often? No doubt this boy would be just as troublesome and get into just as many scrapes as he had done when he was young and yet, he hoped he did somehow. He wanted him to have the strength and

bravery to fight all that life would throw at him and not cowtow to what society said he must do. He should, considering his parents. Scarlett was a wild cat when she wanted something and he himself had obviously proved that he always got what he wanted, no matter what the cost. Not quite though, he still hadn't got all that he wanted.

He went down the worn stairs and into the parlour, it was sparsely furnished with simple chairs that had obviously been hand crafted. Rhett noticed the spaces on the walls where paintings had once hung and the gouges in the old pine floor boards. A long lounge that stood before the large fireplace was draped with cloth, covering it's original material. The tiny form of Ella lay upon the lounge, white faced and covered with a crocheted blanket, clutching a slightly bedraggled dolly.

Mammy rose from the wooden chair and moved towards Ella as if to protect her from Rhett. Her eyes were hard and her lower lip jutted out, silently speaking volumes as to her feelings towards Rhett.

“Uncle Rhett.” Ella whispered. “You came, I was wishing you would.”

“Hello my little one.” Rhett softly said. “I heard you had a bit of a tumble.”

Ella nodded and tears welled up in her eyes. “I hurt my leg and I got a big bump on my head.”

“And such a pretty head it is too. But don't worry, little Ella, you soon will be up dancing again.”

Ella nodded again but her tears spilled down her cheeks. Mammy moved closer towards her but Rhett pulled out his handkerchief and gently dried the tears away. “Now, now my little girl. Tears won't get you anywhere. You must think of pretty things and happy memories, that is the best way to get better.”

Ella bravely lifted her chin and looked at Rhett. For a minute, Rhett could see some of Scarlett's steel in her hazel eyes.

“Miz Ella is getting tired now. You best go now and let her rest.” Mammy said gruffly.

“Alright Mammy, I'll go.” Rhett said. “But I'll be back soon, Ella.”

“Promise, Uncle Rhett?”

“I promise. I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail.”

Ella started to giggle but the pain of her head stopped her. She weakly said, “I've never seen a lamb shake it's tail.”

“You will though, I'll make sure of it, why I'll buy you a whole flock if you want. Rest now and I'll see you when I get back.”

Rhett looked at Mammy “Take good care of her Mammy, she's a very special little girl.”

“As if I don't know dat.” Mammy grumbled.

“I'm sure you do.”

Rhett quickly left the room and the house. He mounted his hired horse and cantered off down the long drive.

Scarlett, standing by the window in Ellen's office watched him ride away. Of course he was leaving, that's all Rhett ever did, it was all he had ever done. The sharp pain struck her but she willed it away just as she always willed away anything hurtful. “To Hell with you Rhett Butler. I don't need you now and I won't need you tomorrow.” she thought. But the old ache stayed for a long time after.

 

*********************************

Rhett had tried in vain to find a gift for Scarlett in Jonesboro. The children had been easy to buy for -

a two headed top called a diabalo for Wade, a small doll's pram fashioned out of willow branches for Bonnie and a set of coloured pencils and a sketch book for Ella whose artistic talent had always surprised Rhett. For Will, some Virginia tobacco, a bottle of rosewater for Suellen, plug tobacco for Big Sam and some brightly coloured calico for Mammy to make a new apron and turban and lastly horehound candy sticks for all the children. For his new son, he discovered in the dusty recesses of the store, a child's wooden sword painted silver and gold – it was much like the one he had as a boy though his had been steel and brass.

But something for Scarlett stumped him. Jonesboro was not the shopping metropolis of Atlanta. He thought with a smile about a new bonnet and wondered what had ever happened to the green confection he had bought her in Paris. The closest that Jonesboro came to a millinery was the general store with it's selection of poke bonnets. Rhett felt sure that Scarlett would not take kindly to the gesture as he tried to picture her wearing such a bonnet that made any woman look like a mule wearing blinders. He made a mental note to buy the most extravagant hat he could find when he took Wade to Atlanta – something frothy and green to bring out the colour of her beautiful, bewitching eyes. Maybe he would also pick out a new piece of jewellery for her, an expensive bauble to observe the birth of his son just as he had bought the rope of pearls when Bonnie was born.

Rhett swung the flour sack which held the presents bound up in brown paper and string across his saddle and tied the little carriage on to the back which caused the horse to jump. Rhett expertly gained control over him and started the ride back to Tara. As he pushed the contrary horse on he remembered the safety deposit box filled with the jewels that Scarlett had discarded. Their value amounted in excess of ten thousand dollars yet Scarlett had forsaken her greed and given them back as though they were worthless glass. Even the garish engagement ring which had disgusted the Bond Street jeweller who Rhett had make the monstrosity. Rhett wondered why even then he had been so cruel. She had asked for a big diamond yet he had gone out of his way to design the most vulgar ring he could. Had he hoped she would throw it in his face and refuse to marry him?

Maybe he should buy her a new ring. This time with a big diamond but not so big as to be deemed ostentatious, a ring that Scarlett would be able to wear proudly, a ring that would show his true feelings.

He laughed bitterly. How did he expect Scarlett of all people to look at a piece of jewellery and see love in it and not it's dollar amount. No, a ring wouldn't tell her.

Madame Laveau had told him he needed to tell Scarlett of his love – to lance the boil. Not a very romantic way of putting it, he thought, but then what romance had he ever given Scarlett. Oh he had tried in New Orleans though he had kept himself under a tight rein. But if he was honest with himself never had he spoken flowery words of love to her. He had complimented her on her mind but little else. He had criticized her clothes, her design of their house, her friends and worst of all, her mothering skills.

If he was to tell Scarlett, what then? Would she laugh, would she use his confession as her whip on him, would it change anything? Would she still persist in loving Ashley?

What was it about that man that held her? If he could discover what it was Rhett felt sure it would be possible to break the bounds. He was worth ten of Ashley, no matter what Scarlett said.

The one thing Rhett did know was this marriage could no longer continue as it was and if it took him baring his soul to her then so be it. In good time he would, Rhett deferred. Not right away – she had hardly greeted him with open arms and for all he knew Scarlett may have already started divorce proceedings against for abandonment. No, he would pick the time to tell her, a time when he felt stronger to deal with the possible reaction.

The horse, sensing his rider's distraction, had slowed his trot down to a slow walk, and stretched out his neck to pull some of the long green grass bordering the road. He got a swift kick to his side for his trouble and he reluctantly broke into his rough trot again.

 

****************************

 

Most of the presents seemed to have been happily received. The children had felt like Christmas had come again and Rhett was Father Christmas. Mammy had grunted and passed over the brightly striped calico to Scarlett and then left the room with not a word of thanks to Rhett.

Wade had been too exuberant with the diabolo and had just missed breaking one of the windows earning a scolding from Scarlett. The others had been surprised to hear her sharp words to Wade, for the past months she had been so gentle towards the children. She had stayed firm with her discipline but she had been always fair.

“I'm sorry, Mother”, Wade apologized as his face reddened with embarrassment at his clumsiness.

Rhett began to speak “Why, I don't...”

Scarlett cut him off without a glance. “No Wade, I'm sorry for speaking so harshly to you. I guess I'm a bit on edge is all. I think it would be better if you play with your top outside though.”

“Of course, Mother.”

“And when you learn how to do some tricks with it, I'd like to watch, just do it outside. Do we have a deal?” Scarlett held out her hand to her eldest son.

A wave of relief flooded Wade's face. “Deal.” And he shook Scarlett's hand. “Come on, Bonnie. Let's go outside and you can take Josephine for a perambulation.”

“What's that?” Bonnie asked with a suspicious look at her big brother.

The adults laughed and Wade smiled, revelling in being the older, wiser brother. “You can take Josephine for a walk in her new carriage.”

“Why didn't you say that then.” Bonnie answered and she quickly wrapped Josephine up and inexpertly wheeled the little carriage, knocking it into lounge and then into Scarlett's shin and finally into the corner of the doorway before bumping it down the stairs to the yard.

“Thank you Wade. You are a good big brother.” Scarlett gave him a pat his slim shoulder.

A quiet enveloped the room. Rhett leaned against the mantle, watching Scarlett as she fussed over Ella's blanket and Will sat silently in his chair by the window.

“Well, I guess I should get back to work.” he said rising. “ Thanks for the tobacco Rhett, it's been a while.”

“Yes, I should go and help with supper.” Scarlett said, not wanting to be left alone with Rhett. She felt like she was walking on egg shells with him here at Tara. He was watching her, no doubt thinking of what a sorry excuse she was for a mother, hadn't he once told her how a cat was a better mother than she?

“Can I get you anything, sugarplum?”, she said to Ella.

Ella looked so pale. “No thank you Mama. I'm tired. Can I sleep now?”

Scarlett face pricked with worry. “Only for a little while, Ella. The doctor said we have to make sure to wake you every hour. How about you have a little sleep now and then I will bring you something to eat? What would you like, your pick tonight.”

“Can I have apple butter Mama?”

“Of course my precious. Apple butter on a piece of bread, no crusts right?” Scarlett smiled, knowing how much Ella hated chewing on the crusts of bread. “Well I guess your hair is curly enough. And maybe a scrambled egg too? They are very good for mending sore legs, all the medical men say so.”

Ella sleepily smiled back. Scarlett stroked the ginger locks and kissed Ella's forehead. “Sleep then and I will be wake you in an hour.”

“Is that two shakes of a lamb's tail?”

Scarlett looked confused but answered “About that long, honey. Sleep now.”

Without a glance at Rhett, Scarlett left the room.

Rhett moved to the window and watched as Wade threw the diabolo up and caught it again, he seemed to have already mastered the toy. Bonnie, his Bonnie, chatted to her baby doll and bumped the carriage along the grass. Things seemed different here at Tara compared to life in Atlanta, Scarlett was calmer and the children were definitely happier. It seemed the mother was beginning to know her children and they her.

He noticed his horse was still hitched to the post by the porch, there obviously were no longer young grooms to tend to visitor's horses. He made his way out the door and led the stubborn horse around the back of the house, past the broad kitchen garden, the rows mounded up with mulch and rough cotton protecting the winter vegetables.

A newly built barn, it's wood still raw and unpainted, stood past a paddock of four sleek mules, their ears pricked up with interest at him. Within the barn, smelling of warmth and hay and oats, were six stalls sheltering the white saddle horse that Rhett had seen Will so adroitly ride, two plough horses and looking totally out of place was Mr. Butler, still as fat and sassy as when he resided in Atlanta. Bonnie must be feeding him too much sugar, Rhett thought as he led the hired horse into one of the free stalls. He unsaddled him and gave a quick brush down and then filled the water bucket and the hay rick.

Rhett stopped at the back of the barn and gave the large black and white sow a light scratch on her back causing her to grunt with delight. It was pleasant here in the barn, Rhett felt himself begin to relax after the tension of being near to Scarlett. He stayed in the barn, scratching the sow and feeling the warmth of the animals, until he heard the sound of hard rain hitting the roof. From the doorway, he could see the mules now clustered together under the spreading boughs of a lone live oak tree and Big Sam leading two Jersey cows towards a whitewashed log milking shed. With a deep breath, Rhett walked back to the main house wondering if there was any whiskey to be found.

 

*********************

 

Scarlett used her shoulder to push open the dining room door, her hands carrying a covered dish with candied carrots and a jug of milk. The sight of Rhett sitting at the end of the table beside Will, holding the baby, rattled her.

When she had seen him ride away she thought it would be the last they'd see of him. She had been convinced that he would be gone again to places unknown. It had surprised her when he had returned armed with presents for everyone. Everyone except her – the snub had rankled her. It was if he was rubbing her face in it, showing how she was the only one he didn't care enough about to buy some silly trinket. Why was he here, what was his plan? She didn't like the feeling of unease when he was around , nor how he watched her with his black eyes, never revealing what he was thinking. She tossed her head, “I won't let him get to me. I will be sweet as pie and show him what a lady I am. I will not even bother about him. He will get bored soon enough when he sees that he means nothing to me.” she thought and this alone gave her strength.

“Let me help you Mother.” Wade gallantly said, taking the heavy jug from her.

“Thank you Wade.”

When she sat down she put out her hands to Wade on her left and little Bonnie on her right. The children and Will did as well, Bonnie taking Rhett's large hand in her wee one and Will holding the baby's tiny hand.

“Bonnie, I think it is your turn to say grace.” Scarlett quietly said.

Bonnie wiggled importantly in her chair and then squeezed her eyes shut and bent her head down. “God is good, God is great and we thank him for our food.”

The rest of them murmured “For what we are about to receive May the Lord make us truly thankful.”

“Well done, Bonnie.” Scarlett said “Please start everyone.” and they began passing the the bowls and plates filled with ham slices, mashed potatoes, carrots and yams, which Wade passed over. He still hated yams and they would forever bring back the terror and hunger he had experienced when he was small.

Scarlett stood and poured milk for the children and water for Will and herself. She noticed Rhett was drinking what looked like Suellen's elderberry wine, she smiled to herself, he must be desperate for a drink as that wine could take ten coats of paint off a fence post. She then moved to Bonnie and cut her meat and yams into smaller pieces.

“Let me take the baby Rhett. I doubt you can eat and hold a baby at the same time.”

“You underestimate my talents Scarlett. Sit and enjoy your dinner. He is fine on my lap.” And the baby did look content, his dark eyes gazing up at his father holding tightly to Rhett's lapel. How easy he always made it look, Scarlett thought.

Conversation was dominated by Bonnie telling Rhett all about her and Josephine's adventures at Tara and how baby brother cried too much and messed his drawers. Rhett listened carefully as he chewed on the sweet, tender ham and tried not to gag on the wine. After a time Scarlett gently reminded Bonnie she needed to eat more and talk less.

“Do you have all your books and supplies for school Wade or do we need to pick up anything when we go to Atlanta?” Rhett asked.

“What are you talking about?” Scarlett said, “I'm taking Wade to school! It's all arranged, isn't it Wade?” Scarlett beamed green eyes at her oldest child.

Wade grew beet red and looked down at his plate.

“Now Scarlett don't get all fussed. I'm taking Wade to school, we have already discussed it.” Rhett said dismissively.

“Don't tell me whether I can get fussed or not Rhett Butler. He is my son!”  
“And he is also my son, Scarlett.” Rhett said steely. “Listen to reason for once in your life Scarlett. He is a young man not a baby in diapers. He needs and no doubt would prefer his father to help him get settled in at a new school with other young men.”

“Pity he doesn't have a father then.”Scarlett said viciously.

Wade looked like he wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole. Even Bonnie was quiet, silenced by the hot words flying.

Will softly said “Wade, could you pass the potatoes please.”

This simple question broke the tension between the warring couple and they sat back, Rhett with his wine and Scarlett with her water. The meal continued in an uneasy silence. Finally Bonnie said “I want my bessert now, Mama”

“Not yet darling, you need to eat four more bites before dessert.”

“I want my bessert now, I don't like this nasty ham.”

Scarlett held her temper. “Just last week you told me ham was your favourite, honey.”

“I want my bessert!”

“And you can have it when you eat four more bites of dinner.” Scarlett patiently said.

“Daddy, I want bessert.” Bonnie turned her blue eyes on Rhett “Make Mamma give me some.”

Rhett melted at the little girl looking up at him, so sure that he would give her anything she ever asked for and it was with a struggle that he said, “Sorry honey but your Mama is right, you have to eat at least four more bites before dessert.”

Bonnie's lip pouted out and he could see the tantrum that was ready to erupt. “But how about this, you eat your dinner and then your dessert and I will read you a story before bed.”

Bonnie wavered, Mama had been reading her bedtime stories which she liked especially when Mama would cuddle beside her but Daddy always used funny voices when he read to her.

“Two stories!” she countered.

“Two stories it is. Now eat up.” Rhett glanced over at Scarlett, she seemed surprised and relieved that he backed her up. He bowed his head to her and adjusted the now sleeping baby.

As Bonnie had not yet learned how to count, she ended up eating seven more bites before hoeing into her sticky tassie.

Once dinner was done, Scarlett and Wade started clearing the table and even little Bonnie carrying the flatware back to the kitchen.

When they returned, Rhett gave his new son a kiss on his plump cheek and released him to Scarlett. They shared a glance, green meeting black, neither able to see their honest feelings.

Rhett took Bonnie upstairs and helped her as she brushed her teeth and washed her face. He assisted her when she got tangled up while putting on her long white nightie and thought how angelic she looked. He listened as she said her good night prayers, listing off all her dollies and then everyone else she loved for Jesus to watch over.

Bonnie proudly showed him her extra special big girl bed – it was a trundle bed that slid out from one of the two single beds that belonged to Will's daughters, the maple head boards deftly carved by a father's loving hand.

After Bonnie crawled between the white sheets, with her black curls spilling over the pillow, she demanded he read The Six Swans first and then Rapunzel. This took time because Bonnie had many questions.

“How did the brothers know how to fly when they were turned into swans?”

“I think it came natural to them when their feathers began to grow.”

“Couldn't the princess wear gloves when she had to weave the thistles? Then her dainty hands wouldn't get hurt.”

“The evil witch wouldn't let her have gloves.”

“Well, that's so mean, Daddy. She is so mean.”

“Wouldn't it be horrid not to talk for so long Daddy. How long could you go without talking or laughing? I think I could go for two hundred and seventy- two days and then I would have to say something.”

“Daddy do you think my hair will grow as long as Rapunzel if I never ever cut it? How long would it take to grow it so it would fall out the window to the ground?”

All these questions, Rhett answered patiently and to the best of his ability. Finally he said it was much past Bonnie's sleep time and she had to close her eyes and go to sleep.

He had to go back downstairs to get Josephine who was still in the baby carriage and then back again for a cup of water before Bonnie was satisfied that all was ready for her to go to sleep. She held him tightly and kissed him and then with a big yawn, her eyes closed and Rhett was able to gaze at her. How had he been able to stay away from his precious girl for so long. Leaving the lamp burning low, Rhett left the room and went down the stairs.

He put on his greatcoat and stepped out on to the porch to join Will who was peacefully smoking his pipe with the tobacco that Rhett had bought him.

“Care for a cigar, Will?”

Will shook his head, “I'm content with my pipe.”

The rain had stopped and the air was cool. Dark clouds still scuddered before the half moon. The two men sat without talking for a time.

“Did you ever visit Tara before the War, Rhett?”

“No, I went to a barbeque at Twelve Oaks though. It was the day Georgia declared War.”

“Is that where you met Scarlett?”

Rhett nodded, not interested in discussing that long ago day.

“I wish I could have seen Tara in her glory. She must have been beautiful then. Mr. O'Hara sometimes would talk like she was still the grand plantation she had been before. Did you meet him?”

Rhett smiled. “We shared a drink one night in Atlanta. I remember he had a fine singing voice.”

Will became silent again.

“From what I've seen of the rest of the County, Tara is doing better than any other place around.” Rhett said.

“Thanks to Scarlett and me.” Will said, not as a boast but rather as the simple truth.

“How many acres of cotton will you be planting this spring?”

“I'm aiming for about three hundred. I'm also working on growing some other crops. Maybe peanuts, more hay, at least a hundred acres, corn of course.”

“Do you have the workers?”

“I can get 'em when I need 'em. Lots of the nigras are coming back, city life ain't what they expected. I treat them fair and they know what to do.”

“How do you pay them?”

“If they are just here to pick, they get ten percent of what they take in – if they are here for both plantin' and pickin' they get fifteen. They work harder when they know they got a stake in it.”

“And other than these seasonal workers, it's just you and Big Sam that take care of Tara?”

“No, we got Young Mose and Jimbo, young bucks with strong backs and good singing voices. You'll see 'em if you stay around for a bit. There's also Big Sam's wife, Delany she comes and works at the house sometimes though she is awful busy with her brood of young'uns. Hattie is the cook and Tiny Peg is the girl that does the heavy work. That's about it but we seem to manage.”

That would explain why Scarlett was waiting at her own table and why it was she and the children that cleared up after dinner. She had twice that staff in Atlanta and they had half the work, yet here was Scarlett doing such menial work.

“When will Suellen and your girls be home again?”

“I s'pect in another week or two. Their enjoyin' themselves in Savannah, more fun for Sue than here at Tara.”

“I'm sure you miss them.

Will stood up and tapped his cold pipe against the edge of the porch. “Well, I'm off to bed. That rooster crows pretty early even in winter. Night Rhett, I'll see ya tomorrow.”

“Good night Will. It was good to talk.”

Rhett finished his cigar and went in the house, hanging his coat on the stand with it's cracked mirror. A light shone from the doorway into the parlour. Rhett stepped in and saw Mammy still guarding young Ella.

“How is the patient, Mammy?” Rhett softly asked, looking at the sleeping Ella.

“Fine.” Mammy whispered hoarsely. “ You kin go, she don't need you.”

“Do you mean Ella or Scarlett?” Rhett answered.

“Both.” Mammy sniped, looking hard at him.

“Mammy, I'm back to stay. I aim to do what I can to make things right again.”

“Things never been right 'tween you and Miz Scarlett.”

“Truer words were never spoken.” Rhett paused debating how much he could say to this woman who was closer to Scarlett than any other living being and who hated him with every breath in her body. “Would you believe me if I told you I want to make them right?'

“The only way you can make things right is to leave her be.”

“Is that what she really wants Mammy? Does Scarlett want me to leave her and the children, divorce her and let her keep living a dream of marrying Ashley Wilkes?” The words were out before Rhett could stop them.

Mammy sat back and looked at Rhett. Then she began to softly chuckle.

“For a rich educated man you shur are dumb when it comes to Miz Scarlett.” Mammy was obviously enjoying this new found knowledge.

“Miz Scarlett don't want Mistah Wilkes. He is nothin' but a old girlish dream to her. Don't you know dat by now?” Mammy's throaty laugh began again. “Is dat why you up and left her, taking Miss Bonnie half way round the world all 'cause you thought that Miz Scarlett wanted Mistah Wilkes? My, my, my you shur have made a mess of things.”

Rhett felt as if the room had tilted. “What are you saying Mammy?” He looked at the old woman, her eyes lighting up with glee. “ Tell me! Are you saying that Scarlett doesn't love Mr. Wilkes? Then why did she leave and come here to Tara?”

“Well I'm guessing it had somethin' to do with what you said when you found out 'bout the baby. I don't know what you said but I shur know how my little girl cried. It would've made the devil himself cry to hear her.” Mammy said, watching him closely.

“She told me, 'Pack us up Mammy we're going home to Tara. I have nothin' now but Tara.' So's that's what I did and that's whys we here.”

Rhett mind whirled. He well remembered what he had said to Scarlett when she had told him about the baby, how could he ever forget? His words would haunt him until his dying days.

“Then there is still a chance.” he said to himself. His mind clicked through all that the old negress had told him. “There is still a chance! Mammy, I always said you were the smartest woman I had ever met!” Rhett pulled the old woman up and began to dance her around the room.

“Stop it Cap'n Butler! Let me go! I'm too old for your foolishness.”

“Mammy, don't you see, there's a chance now!” Rhett grinned from ear to ear.

“Hush, you'll be waking Miss Ella, hush.”

“Oh Mammy, you are a wonder. I will never be able to thank you enough.”

“Shhh.”

“Of course, I'm sorry.” Rhett tried to gain control over his happiness. “Ah Mammy, let me help. Go to bed, I'll mind Ella.”

Mammy smiled, happy that Capt'n Butler seemed to have finally twigged onto things. “I'm an old woman sir. When's you be old you don't near the same 'mount of sleep. I'm good here. Miss Ella be happy too if her Mammy be watching over her.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes suh. You go to bed yourself. Good night.”

“Good night Mammy. And Mammy, I promise I will make things right.”

“I imagine Miss Scarlett may have something to say 'bout that but I'll say a prayer for you.”

“That is more than half the battle won then. Good night.”

Rhett quickly made his way upstairs, the hallway was softly lit by the lamp from Bonnie's room and her door was ajar. Peeking around the door he could see how the light dimly lit the room, not enough to disturb but enough to comfort a little girl frightened by the dark. He wondered who had thought of this.

“Good night sweetheart – I love you.” Rhett whispered to his sleeping daughter and tiptoed out of the room, making sure the door was still slightly open.

Now standing in the silent hallway Rhett wasn't sure which of the closed doors he should go through. Scarlett had made it clear he was not welcome in her room, he could sleep in Wade's room but he wasn't sure which one it was, he might end up waking Will instead and then wouldn't everyone wonder why Rhett wasn't sleeping in the same room as his wife?

Though Mammy's words had given him hope she hadn't said that Scarlett loved him, just that she no longer was holding on to her dream of Ashley. If he was to enter her sanctum it very possibly would make her even angrier and it would make things worse between them.

He couldn't stand here all night and he couldn't go back down the stairs the only option was to go into Scarlett's room.

Thankfully, Scarlett was in a deep sleep,her slim body curled around the baby. The hall light fell across her face which in repose was as young and as angelic as Bonnie's. Carefully not to disturb him, Rhett lifted the baby out of Scarlett's loose hold. He squirmed and then relaxed as Rhett placed him in his cradle and covered him with the soft blanket and quilt. What a beautiful child Rhett thought as he stroked the baby's back.

Rhett then sat in the chair that Scarlett had used earlier that day and unlaced his boots, took off his jacket and his cravat and then closed the door darkening the room again. He eased his way onto the top of the bed, and pulled the spare blanket over himself.

He lay there listening to Scarlett's breathing. He wished he could take her in his arms, smell her hair, kiss her cheek but instead he had to be content with laying near to her. He tried to think of what tomorrow might bring and for a long time he lay motionless as to not disturb her. For so long he had loved her passionately, often simultaneously hating her just as passionately and yet he could no longer fight it. The voodoo woman was right, all he could do was to tell her his true feelings.

As he watched the shadows move with the moonlight, dimming and brightening with the clouds and the embers of the small fire burning out, his mind envisioned different scenarios of finally telling Scarlett how much he loved her, some romantic, some fantastical but all ending with her saying 'I love you.'

Sleep finally took him before he settled on a workable plan.

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
